Are you bullyproof?
Recent research suggests that bullying is quickly becoming a national epidemic. A 2011 nationwide study found that 40% of teachers and school staff consider bullying a moderate or major problem in their schools and that 32% of students between the ages of 12-18 report experiencing bullying. Furthermore, it’s projected that 13 million kids will be bullied in the U.S. this year. Suffice it to say, it’s a topic that has captured the attention of every demographic in America. All of these statistics beg the question…”What can be done to stop bullying?” Well, I think I have an answer.
During my ten years as a fourth and fifth grade teacher, I witnessed my fair share of bullying incidents and subsequently spent countless hours lecturing the bully on everything that was wrong with their choices. Unfortunately, whether it was keeping them in for lunch recess or calling their parents to discuss the severity of their actions, my efforts to deter future acts of bullying rarely succeeded. What resulted were more subtle forms of bullying (i.e. name calling or threats) which occurred outside of the classroom and therefore out of my immediate control. Herein lies the true paradox of bullying. Much of it is happening outside of adult supervision and the victims are therefore left to fend for themselves, which proves to be an extremely difficult task given the complex nature of a bully.
Let’s go back to the question I posed earlier…”What can be done to stop bullying?” Believe it or not, my answer is actually in the form of another question that will reveal an innovative approach to the bullying epidemic.
What can be done to empower those who are susceptible to bullying?
Rather than treating the various symptoms (the numerous incidents of bullying) with countless anti-bullying campaigns, the above question causes us to look at the root of the problem and therefore aims to empower potential victims with tools and strategies that will ultimately change bullying from the inside-out. I like to call it bullyproofing. In my opinion, the only sure fire way to stop bullying is to bullyproof our youth so that they feel equipped to navigate these challenging circumstances.
“How can we do this?” you might ask. In my opinion, we begin the process by addressing some of the pink elephants in the room such as self-esteem and emotional intelligence. These are topics that no one likes to talk about, but the repercussions of silence can sometimes be tragic. Why not give our youth a chance to openly discuss these kinds of topics and create a safe space for vulnerability. Let’s face it; all of us (young or old) could be susceptible to bullying at one time or another. No one is immune. So, let’s begin the bullyproofing process together by empowering our youth with critical life skills that will give them hope in what may seem like a hopeless situation.
I think this is a great article. I also think that sometimes ‘passive’ bullying is a problem. What I see this as is the child’s demographic, race, or socioeconomic background may play a part in things. Where a clique of kids selectively leave out the odd one, reinforcing negativity toward self-image. This may be reinforced at home in the form of neglect/ emotional abuse. My heart goes out to every kiddo that feels odd and weird. May they make it to college, it’s better there
I feel articles like this that create a dialogue and awareness are paramount in moving past the bullying problem and refocusing on education.
Thanks for the insight! Enjoyed the read 🙂
Thank you for your comment Winnie. I agree that it is absolutely critical to start a dialogue and create awareness around this issue. I appreciate you taking the time to share your insights.
Regards,
Mike
Mike,
Bravo! You have identified a key skill lacking in many a child’s upbringing. Giving a child the tools of emotional intelligence will not only serve them on the playground, but well into their futures. This is a training that I am helping my employees get a grasp of to improve their customer service skills. I have found that society is moving so fast that we fail to have the regular conversations with our youth that would instill these skills. Thanks for your insights!
Mary C
Mary, thank you for your comment. You can rest assured that I am on a mission to start this conversation in every classroom and/or living room in the country. I appreciate you taking the time to share your insights.
Regards,
Mike
Mike – I love your idea and actually think it would work but the trick would be to get the message across in a large setting so that the bullies would be put on notice in a public way without singling anyone out. And, more importantly, their victims would hear the same message and feel empowered.
I was bullied in 7th grade and carried my books from class to class without going to my locker for an entire semester because I was told if they saw me at my locker then I was “going to get it”. I never told anyone during this time because I was afraid and ashamed. I think this is an important topic and should be addressed as even 35 years after the fact, I can still feel the fear like it was yesterday. Thank you for continuing to raise the issue.
Hi Donna. Thank you for taking the time to comment. I agree that the bullyproofing message needs to be shared with ALL students, which is exactly what I’m trying to accomplish when I visit classrooms throughout the valley. My hope is that this message will plant a seed that classroom teachers and families will continue to cultivate. Empowerment does not happen overnight, so we must continue to share this message with students every day.
All my best,
Mike
This is a great approach! Bullyproofing children to have confidence in themselves. Bullies are only as good as the reaction they get. Helping kids understand that they do not have to give away their power will also shut the bully down much faster.
Thank you for your insights!
Hi Darcy. Thanks so much for your comment. I have always defined bullying as an attempt to create an imbalance of power, so I love how you talked about “giving away” power in your comment. No one wants to give their power away, but in the absence of conscious thought, it’s often what occurs.
Regards,
Mike