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Are you bullyproof?

September 23, 2013Mike SisselBlog8

bully proofRecent research suggests that bullying is quickly becoming a national epidemic.  A 2011 nationwide study found that 40% of teachers and school staff consider bullying a moderate or major problem in their schools and that 32% of students between the ages of 12-18 report experiencing bullying.  Furthermore, it’s projected that 13 million kids will be bullied in the U.S. this year.  Suffice it to say, it’s a topic that has captured the attention of every demographic in America.  All of these statistics beg the question…”What can be done to stop bullying?”  Well, I think I have an answer.

During my ten years as a fourth and fifth grade teacher, I witnessed my fair share of bullying incidents and subsequently spent countless hours lecturing the bully on everything that was wrong with their choices.  Unfortunately, whether it was keeping them in for lunch recess or calling their parents to discuss the severity of their actions, my efforts to deter future acts of bullying rarely succeeded.  What resulted were more subtle forms of bullying (i.e. name calling or threats) which occurred outside of the classroom and therefore out of my immediate control.  Herein lies the true paradox of bullying.  Much of it is happening outside of adult supervision and the victims are therefore left to fend for themselves, which proves to be an extremely difficult task given the complex nature of a bully.

Let’s go back to the question I posed earlier…”What can be done to stop bullying?”  Believe it or not, my answer is actually in the form of another question that will reveal an innovative approach to the bullying epidemic.

What can be done to empower those who are susceptible to bullying?

Rather than treating the various symptoms (the numerous incidents of bullying) with countless anti-bullying campaigns, the above question causes us to look at the root of the problem and therefore aims to empower potential victims with tools and strategies that will ultimately change bullying from the inside-out.  I like to call it bullyproofing.  In my opinion, the only sure fire way to stop bullying is to bullyproof our youth so that they feel equipped to navigate these challenging circumstances.

“How can we do this?” you might ask.  In my opinion, we begin the process by addressing some of the pink elephants in the room such as self-esteem and emotional intelligence.  These are topics that no one likes to talk about, but the repercussions of silence can sometimes be tragic.  Why not give our youth a chance to openly discuss these kinds of topics and create a safe space for vulnerability.  Let’s face it; all of us (young or old) could be susceptible to bullying at one time or another.  No one is immune.  So, let’s begin the bullyproofing process together by empowering our youth with critical life skills that will give them hope in what may seem like a hopeless situation.

Comments

Winnie Reply
September 23, 2013

I think this is a great article. I also think that sometimes ‘passive’ bullying is a problem. What I see this as is the child’s demographic, race, or socioeconomic background may play a part in things. Where a clique of kids selectively leave out the odd one, reinforcing negativity toward self-image. This may be reinforced at home in the form of neglect/ emotional abuse. My heart goes out to every kiddo that feels odd and weird. May they make it to college, it’s better there
I feel articles like this that create a dialogue and awareness are paramount in moving past the bullying problem and refocusing on education.
Thanks for the insight! Enjoyed the read 🙂

Mike Sissel Reply
September 24, 2013

Thank you for your comment Winnie. I agree that it is absolutely critical to start a dialogue and create awareness around this issue. I appreciate you taking the time to share your insights.

Regards,
Mike

Mary Contreras Reply
September 24, 2013

Mike,
Bravo! You have identified a key skill lacking in many a child’s upbringing. Giving a child the tools of emotional intelligence will not only serve them on the playground, but well into their futures. This is a training that I am helping my employees get a grasp of to improve their customer service skills. I have found that society is moving so fast that we fail to have the regular conversations with our youth that would instill these skills. Thanks for your insights!

Mary C

Mike Sissel Reply
September 24, 2013

Mary, thank you for your comment. You can rest assured that I am on a mission to start this conversation in every classroom and/or living room in the country. I appreciate you taking the time to share your insights.

Regards,
Mike

Donna Reply
September 24, 2013

Mike – I love your idea and actually think it would work but the trick would be to get the message across in a large setting so that the bullies would be put on notice in a public way without singling anyone out. And, more importantly, their victims would hear the same message and feel empowered.

I was bullied in 7th grade and carried my books from class to class without going to my locker for an entire semester because I was told if they saw me at my locker then I was “going to get it”. I never told anyone during this time because I was afraid and ashamed. I think this is an important topic and should be addressed as even 35 years after the fact, I can still feel the fear like it was yesterday. Thank you for continuing to raise the issue.

Mike Sissel Reply
September 24, 2013

Hi Donna. Thank you for taking the time to comment. I agree that the bullyproofing message needs to be shared with ALL students, which is exactly what I’m trying to accomplish when I visit classrooms throughout the valley. My hope is that this message will plant a seed that classroom teachers and families will continue to cultivate. Empowerment does not happen overnight, so we must continue to share this message with students every day.

All my best,
Mike

Darcy Reply
September 25, 2013

This is a great approach! Bullyproofing children to have confidence in themselves. Bullies are only as good as the reaction they get. Helping kids understand that they do not have to give away their power will also shut the bully down much faster.
Thank you for your insights!

Mike Sissel Reply
September 25, 2013

Hi Darcy. Thanks so much for your comment. I have always defined bullying as an attempt to create an imbalance of power, so I love how you talked about “giving away” power in your comment. No one wants to give their power away, but in the absence of conscious thought, it’s often what occurs.

Regards,
Mike

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“Wow! What an amazing person! We are so fortunate to have Mike Sissel in our lives. Having two daughters that compete, I cannot thank him enough for all of valuable lessons learned. He empowers my girls with tools and strategies to become not only better athletes but better people. He helps them to build strong character traits that will benefit them long after their time in completion has come to an end. He's had a positive influence on the mindset of our entire family and for that we are truly blessed.”

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“Wow! What an amazing person! We are so fortunate to have Mike Sissel in our lives. Having two daughters that compete, I cannot thank him enough for all of valuable lessons learned. He empowers my girls with tools and strategies to become not only better athletes but better people. He helps them to build strong character traits that will benefit them long after their time in completion has come to an end. He's had a positive influence on the mindset of our entire family and for that we are truly blessed.”
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“Having been in the coaching profession for many years, I’ve gained the most satisfaction by having the opportunity to help shape the character of my players, ultimately preparing them for life beyond baseball. Mike Sissel is a masterful coach who shares a similar passion for the 'game of life'. His ability to connect with athletes is unmatched. If you have an opportunity for Mike to work with your team, it will truly be the 'gift' that will keep on giving. He has been a blessing to my family.”
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“Mike Sissel is an amazing man. With a positive force driving his ultimate vision to help the world be a better place, he reminds young and old what it means to be and do good by finding it in within. His practical steps are accessible to children and admired by adults. Whether he facilitates a retreat, in-service, assembly, or consults, positive and tangible results will be the outcome. I highly recommend him!”

Greg Hebert

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2018-05-23T09:48:39-07:00

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“Mike Sissel is an amazing man. With a positive force driving his ultimate vision to help the world be a better place, he reminds young and old what it means to be and do good by finding it in within. His practical steps are accessible to children and admired by adults. Whether he facilitates a retreat, in-service, assembly, or consults, positive and tangible results will be the outcome. I highly recommend him!”
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“The power of positivity is infectious and Mr. Sissel has a real gift of helping others believe that they have the mental strength within themselves to get past whatever they might be struggling with. We were introduced to Mike through Gold Medal Gymnastics and seeing the impact he has made on the lives of so many including our daughter is astounding. He helped her to overcome the feelings of insecurity, feeling bullied and showed her how to focus and 'change her lens' so that she could perform successfully.”

 

Fred Sanchez

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2017-09-14T15:02:28-07:00

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“The power of positivity is infectious and Mr. Sissel has a real gift of helping others believe that they have the mental strength within themselves to get past whatever they might be struggling with. We were introduced to Mike through Gold Medal Gymnastics and seeing the impact he has made on the lives of so many including our daughter is astounding. He helped her to overcome the feelings of insecurity, feeling bullied and showed her how to focus and 'change her lens' so that she could perform successfully.”  
https://kaleidoeye.com/testimonials/fred-sanchez/
“Mike has an amazing ability to reach our children and to challenge their thinking. His positive outlook and desire to help every child be the best they can be is inspiring. My daughter comes home from her time with him with a smile on her face and new words of wisdom to share with me.  My 13 year old son watches his motivational videos and every time turns to me and says "He is so right. Everything he is saying is so true".  So thankful to have him in my children's lives.”

 

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“Mike has an amazing ability to reach our children and to challenge their thinking. His positive outlook and desire to help every child be the best they can be is inspiring. My daughter comes home from her time with him with a smile on her face and new words of wisdom to share with me.  My 13 year old son watches his motivational videos and every time turns to me and says "He is so right. Everything he is saying is so true".  So thankful to have him in my children's lives.”  
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"At Nike, I like to say ‘You Own Your Career’, Mike presented to my team and provided them with strategies & tools that inspired them to take ownership of their actions, performance, and careers. It was Motivational Coaching that impacted all attendees – regardless of their roles. All team members learned what behaviors make good leaders, and that all of us can be a leader. Mike was an energetic, passionate and effective presenter. I look forward to seeing my team practicing and implementing these skills into their Personal & Professional Developmental Plans.”
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“Mr Sissel has been such an unbelievably positive presence both at Gold Medal Gymnastics and at our daughter's school, CEE. There is always enthusiasm and excitement when she knows that they will be having a session with him. The topics that he addresses are so important and he helps the kids see not only life's big picture, but also how individually they can make a real difference for themselves and those around them with their choices. We are thankful and look forward to more work with him in the future.”

 

Margo Ingram

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“Mr Sissel has been such an unbelievably positive presence both at Gold Medal Gymnastics and at our daughter's school, CEE. There is always enthusiasm and excitement when she knows that they will be having a session with him. The topics that he addresses are so important and he helps the kids see not only life's big picture, but also how individually they can make a real difference for themselves and those around them with their choices. We are thankful and look forward to more work with him in the future.”  
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“Our school mission has always been to educate the 'whole child', including their social and emotional development. Mike’s contribution to this mission, through the delivery of his meaningful, engaging lessons, has made a lasting impact on our school culture. In addition to the rich content he shares with our students, the energy he brings to each classroom is contagious. He has been an inspiration to our staff and students and truly lives the leadership principles he teaches.”

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“Our school mission has always been to educate the 'whole child', including their social and emotional development. Mike’s contribution to this mission, through the delivery of his meaningful, engaging lessons, has made a lasting impact on our school culture. In addition to the rich content he shares with our students, the energy he brings to each classroom is contagious. He has been an inspiration to our staff and students and truly lives the leadership principles he teaches.”
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“Mr. Sissel has been an incredible positive influence for my kids! Every time he goes to their school they look forward to learning something new from him! I have a teen and preteen and they have had him for the last several years and have quoted his lessons to us at home. Mr. Sissel has a special gift of teaching ALL ages with passion and dedication and truly knows how to connect with his audience, which makes it fun. I have also recommended him as one on one coaching for my dear friend’s son after she went through a divorce and her son was acting out and his insight truly helped her.”

Judy Salinas

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2017-09-14T14:39:25-07:00

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“Mr. Sissel has been an incredible positive influence for my kids! Every time he goes to their school they look forward to learning something new from him! I have a teen and preteen and they have had him for the last several years and have quoted his lessons to us at home. Mr. Sissel has a special gift of teaching ALL ages with passion and dedication and truly knows how to connect with his audience, which makes it fun. I have also recommended him as one on one coaching for my dear friend’s son after she went through a divorce and her son was acting out and his insight truly helped her.”
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