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Conversation with a teen

June 29, 2014Mike SisselBlog6

As some of you are aware, I’m in the process of writing a personal development book for an audience of both parents and teens.  While some would call it wishful thinking, my goal is for parents to sit down with their son or daughter and begin to build a foundation for positive change by simply having a conversation about various leadership principles.  In fact, I’ve written the entire book as a conversation between a father and his teenage daughter.  It’s common for teens to see adults, especially their parents, as lecturers.  Therefore, I’ve tried to create an environment for openness and trust between parent and child.

Below is an excerpt from the book.  Once you have finished reading it, I would be grateful if you would leave a comment in the space below.  What are you overall thoughts about the content and style of the story?

***********************************************************************************************************************************

Dad:  I want you to know that you are a leader despite what others may tell you.

Daughter:  How can I be a leader when I’ve never actually been in a leadership position?  

You don’t have to maintain an actual position in order to be a leader. That’s a myth. When you learn to embrace the leader within yourself, you build the foundation for everything else that will follow in your life.

Even though no one has labeled you as a follower, it’s quite natural to shy away from the role of leader.   Many people view leadership as a position of authority, which requires a certain level of power.  You might identify your mom and I as leaders because we’re in charge of the family and assume a certain amount of authority in those roles.  You might also view your teachers as leaders because they’re in charge of your classes and are responsible for teaching roomfuls of students.  Do you notice a common theme here?  These are each examples of authority.

So, if I don’t have to be in charge of other people to lead, what makes me a leader?

It’s not the fact that you may or may not be in charge of others that matters most.  What matters is the undisputable fact that you will always be in charge of yourself.  That alone makes you a leader.  Leading yourself first is much more important than trying to lead others.  This idea will serve as a foundation for everything else.  You could go through your life like many people and be affected by outside-in change when others try to control you through manipulation or persuasion. Your mom and I don’t want that for you. We want you to have the tools to change yourself, which is called inside-out change.

Wait a minute.  How can you say I’m in charge of myself when you and mom and are always asking me to do things I don’t want to do?  Doesn’t that mean that you’re in charge of me?   

That’s a great question.  Mom and I care deeply about your success in life so our primary responsibility is to empower you, or give you tools that will help you along the way.  It may seem like we’re in charge of you when we ask you to clean up your room or finish your homework, but the fact remains that you still have the power to choose your response in any of these situations.  That means that while we may be in charge of the circumstances, we will never claim to be in charge of you.  We’ll talk about that later. For now, let’s focus on helping you to embrace your inner leader.

Okay, I guess I am in charge of myself, but that’s not really leadership, is it?

Think about the last time you dropped a coin in a water fountain, or threw a rock in the river.  What happened when it landed?  The impact of the object created a ripple that extended far beyond where you threw the coin or rock.  Well, you and I are no different than the coin or rock.  Every time we say or do something, we create an invisible ripple around us.  Our ripples are strongest when we focus on our actions, not necessarily our words.  That means that wherever you go, your ripple follows, so the fact that you influence others makes you a leader.  Whether we are 8 years old or 80 years old, we all lead.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Comments

jason Reply
June 29, 2014

I like the approach. Voice of daughter could be more teen like. This is a great topic Un explored by most. Great work.

Mike Sissel Reply
June 30, 2014

Jason, thanks for taking the time to respond. I will work on the teen voice. I agree.

Mike

libby Reply
June 29, 2014

Hi Mike, once again the material that i receive from you way across the ocean in South Africa is fantastic and a philosophy that i subscribe. I am sure you are going to have much success with your book. I like the idea of it been in conversation with your daughter as i think this makes it more user friendly for parents to work with their teens. I look forward to buying a copy. Keep me posted. Regards
Libby Edmonds

Mike Sissel Reply
June 30, 2014

Thanks Libby. As always, I’m so grateful for your support.

Mike

Chris Thorne Reply
July 20, 2014

Hi Mike,
I love the idea! You see my hubby Greg at Starbucks sometimes 🙂 and he always enjoys your conversations.
We do have just the one teenage daughter and we use that “leader” even as she is hanging out with her friends and/or playing volleyball. We remind her that with the position she plays in volleyball, she needs to be a leader out there..like she is the quarterback…she determines the plays (usually) and is the player her teammates look to.
Let us know when you have the book complete!
We’d love to pick up a copy! Good Luck!
Warmly, Chris

Mike Sissel Reply
July 20, 2014

Hi Chris. Thank you for your comment. I always enjoy seeing Greg as well. I will keep you posted with regard to the book. I’m expecting to have it published in the next month or so.

All my best,
Mike

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“The power of positivity is infectious and Mr. Sissel has a real gift of helping others believe that they have the mental strength within themselves to get past whatever they might be struggling with. We were introduced to Mike through Gold Medal Gymnastics and seeing the impact he has made on the lives of so many including our daughter is astounding. He helped her to overcome the feelings of insecurity, feeling bullied and showed her how to focus and 'change her lens' so that she could perform successfully.”

 

Fred Sanchez

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2017-09-14T15:02:28-07:00

Fred Sanchez

“The power of positivity is infectious and Mr. Sissel has a real gift of helping others believe that they have the mental strength within themselves to get past whatever they might be struggling with. We were introduced to Mike through Gold Medal Gymnastics and seeing the impact he has made on the lives of so many including our daughter is astounding. He helped her to overcome the feelings of insecurity, feeling bullied and showed her how to focus and 'change her lens' so that she could perform successfully.”  
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2018-05-23T09:49:19-07:00

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“Our school mission has always been to educate the 'whole child', including their social and emotional development. Mike’s contribution to this mission, through the delivery of his meaningful, engaging lessons, has made a lasting impact on our school culture. In addition to the rich content he shares with our students, the energy he brings to each classroom is contagious. He has been an inspiration to our staff and students and truly lives the leadership principles he teaches.”
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“Mike has an amazing ability to reach our children and to challenge their thinking. His positive outlook and desire to help every child be the best they can be is inspiring. My daughter comes home from her time with him with a smile on her face and new words of wisdom to share with me.  My 13 year old son watches his motivational videos and every time turns to me and says "He is so right. Everything he is saying is so true".  So thankful to have him in my children's lives.”

 

Sally Moore

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2017-09-14T15:01:56-07:00

Sally Moore

“Mike has an amazing ability to reach our children and to challenge their thinking. His positive outlook and desire to help every child be the best they can be is inspiring. My daughter comes home from her time with him with a smile on her face and new words of wisdom to share with me.  My 13 year old son watches his motivational videos and every time turns to me and says "He is so right. Everything he is saying is so true".  So thankful to have him in my children's lives.”  
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“Having been in the coaching profession for many years, I’ve gained the most satisfaction by having the opportunity to help shape the character of my players, ultimately preparing them for life beyond baseball. Mike Sissel is a masterful coach who shares a similar passion for the 'game of life'. His ability to connect with athletes is unmatched. If you have an opportunity for Mike to work with your team, it will truly be the 'gift' that will keep on giving. He has been a blessing to my family.”

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Pat Murphy

“Having been in the coaching profession for many years, I’ve gained the most satisfaction by having the opportunity to help shape the character of my players, ultimately preparing them for life beyond baseball. Mike Sissel is a masterful coach who shares a similar passion for the 'game of life'. His ability to connect with athletes is unmatched. If you have an opportunity for Mike to work with your team, it will truly be the 'gift' that will keep on giving. He has been a blessing to my family.”
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"At Nike, I like to say ‘You Own Your Career’, Mike presented to my team and provided them with strategies & tools that inspired them to take ownership of their actions, performance, and careers. It was Motivational Coaching that impacted all attendees – regardless of their roles. All team members learned what behaviors make good leaders, and that all of us can be a leader. Mike was an energetic, passionate and effective presenter. I look forward to seeing my team practicing and implementing these skills into their Personal & Professional Developmental Plans.”

Jeff DuMont

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2018-05-23T09:41:45-07:00

Jeff DuMont

"At Nike, I like to say ‘You Own Your Career’, Mike presented to my team and provided them with strategies & tools that inspired them to take ownership of their actions, performance, and careers. It was Motivational Coaching that impacted all attendees – regardless of their roles. All team members learned what behaviors make good leaders, and that all of us can be a leader. Mike was an energetic, passionate and effective presenter. I look forward to seeing my team practicing and implementing these skills into their Personal & Professional Developmental Plans.”
https://kaleidoeye.com/testimonials/jeff-dumont/
“Mr. Sissel has been an incredible positive influence for my kids! Every time he goes to their school they look forward to learning something new from him! I have a teen and preteen and they have had him for the last several years and have quoted his lessons to us at home. Mr. Sissel has a special gift of teaching ALL ages with passion and dedication and truly knows how to connect with his audience, which makes it fun. I have also recommended him as one on one coaching for my dear friend’s son after she went through a divorce and her son was acting out and his insight truly helped her.”

Judy Salinas

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2017-09-14T14:39:25-07:00

Judy Salinas

“Mr. Sissel has been an incredible positive influence for my kids! Every time he goes to their school they look forward to learning something new from him! I have a teen and preteen and they have had him for the last several years and have quoted his lessons to us at home. Mr. Sissel has a special gift of teaching ALL ages with passion and dedication and truly knows how to connect with his audience, which makes it fun. I have also recommended him as one on one coaching for my dear friend’s son after she went through a divorce and her son was acting out and his insight truly helped her.”
https://kaleidoeye.com/testimonials/3596/
“Wow! What an amazing person! We are so fortunate to have Mike Sissel in our lives. Having two daughters that compete, I cannot thank him enough for all of valuable lessons learned. He empowers my girls with tools and strategies to become not only better athletes but better people. He helps them to build strong character traits that will benefit them long after their time in completion has come to an end. He's had a positive influence on the mindset of our entire family and for that we are truly blessed.”

Kim Roberts-Johson

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2017-09-14T15:05:04-07:00

Kim Roberts-Johson

“Wow! What an amazing person! We are so fortunate to have Mike Sissel in our lives. Having two daughters that compete, I cannot thank him enough for all of valuable lessons learned. He empowers my girls with tools and strategies to become not only better athletes but better people. He helps them to build strong character traits that will benefit them long after their time in completion has come to an end. He's had a positive influence on the mindset of our entire family and for that we are truly blessed.”
https://kaleidoeye.com/testimonials/kim-roberts-johson/
“Mr Sissel has been such an unbelievably positive presence both at Gold Medal Gymnastics and at our daughter's school, CEE. There is always enthusiasm and excitement when she knows that they will be having a session with him. The topics that he addresses are so important and he helps the kids see not only life's big picture, but also how individually they can make a real difference for themselves and those around them with their choices. We are thankful and look forward to more work with him in the future.”

 

Margo Ingram

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2017-09-14T15:04:38-07:00

Margo Ingram

“Mr Sissel has been such an unbelievably positive presence both at Gold Medal Gymnastics and at our daughter's school, CEE. There is always enthusiasm and excitement when she knows that they will be having a session with him. The topics that he addresses are so important and he helps the kids see not only life's big picture, but also how individually they can make a real difference for themselves and those around them with their choices. We are thankful and look forward to more work with him in the future.”  
https://kaleidoeye.com/testimonials/margo-ingram/
“Mike Sissel is an amazing man. With a positive force driving his ultimate vision to help the world be a better place, he reminds young and old what it means to be and do good by finding it in within. His practical steps are accessible to children and admired by adults. Whether he facilitates a retreat, in-service, assembly, or consults, positive and tangible results will be the outcome. I highly recommend him!”

Greg Hebert

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2018-05-23T09:48:39-07:00

Greg Hebert

“Mike Sissel is an amazing man. With a positive force driving his ultimate vision to help the world be a better place, he reminds young and old what it means to be and do good by finding it in within. His practical steps are accessible to children and admired by adults. Whether he facilitates a retreat, in-service, assembly, or consults, positive and tangible results will be the outcome. I highly recommend him!”
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