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How will we ever know?

March 24, 2015Mike SisselBlog2

11014613_10206217169216248_8778284221702303453_nThis past weekend, the Ahwatukee Foothills News, a local Phoenix newspaper, published one of my articles in their Sunday edition.  In a bit of irony, the story of Ryan Grioux (whose deadly rampage in Mesa, Arizona was breaking news throughout the country) was right next to mine.

In order to appreciate this irony, let me take you back in time a little. 

Flashback to 1999 and I had just finished presenting my leadership thesis, which served as the culmination of my master’s degree from Willamette University in Salem, Oregon.  Not surprisingly, my thesis outlined the need for quality character education programs in all schools.  With the Columbine shootings still fresh in everyone’s minds, I made the argument that perhaps a quality character education program could have prevented something like this from happening. 

Feeling confident that my message had landed, I walked proudly back to my seat where my professor’s critique was waiting for me.  The reviews were positive for the most part, but it’s her final comment that has remained etched in my memory forever.    

“I enjoyed your presentation, but I don’t think that a character education program is going to make much of a difference with regard to preventing catastrophes such as this.”

Still reeling from the adrenaline rush of finishing the most important presentation I had ever made, my peace and contentment suddenly shifted to extreme frustration.  While I don’t recall the actual thoughts that went through my head, I do remember asking, “How will we ever know?”

Fast forward back to today and while that single comment could’ve very easily deflated my passion for character development, I chose to use it as fuel to move in a direction of positive change.  You see, I don’t know for certain whether or not my content will prevent students from following the path Ryan Grioux chose, but here’s what I do know.

The skills of self-awareness and self-management are tools that, when used effectively, can literally change the trajectory of someone’s life. 

Call me naïve, but would Ryan Grioux’s life path look different had he received these skills at an early age?  I don’t claim to know all of the factors that contributed to his horrific choice, but it’s clear that his thoughts were destructive in nature.  These negative thought patterns didn’t happen overnight.  They’ve likely been marinating in his mind for years.  I can’t help but look at the students I work with today and wonder which of them are beginning to plant seeds of thought that could perhaps manifest in the same destructive patterns. 

Whatever is repressed gets expressed. 

Unfortunately, talking about emotions and feelings is somewhat of a taboo topic for most people.  We are conditioned to believe that we must maintain a certain level of toughness or bravado (boys especially).  Therefore, expressing our emotions greatly compromises this tough image.  What happens when you open a can of soda after shaking it?  It explodes. Well, the same is true for our emotions.  Each time we repress an emotion, it’s as if we are shaking the can of emotions.  Without proper emotional management techniques, it’s only a matter of time before the repressed emotions are expressed, often in ways that we regret. 

The only way to remove darkness is by shining a light. 

The media has a tendency to highlight all of the darkness in the world, which promotes increased levels of fear and anxiety in the minds of those watching.  This often leads to people talking about problems, instead of looking for solutions.  I believe that the best way to change other people is by changing ourselves.  You see, if we continue to shine our lights on the world, we have the potential to remove the darkness not by force, but by influence.   

I will never know for certain if my teachings will prevent horrific human behaviors in the future, but that isn’t going to stop me from trying.

Please don’t let it stop you, either.  Keep shining your light. 

Comments

Bill O’Hearn Reply
March 27, 2015

Hi Mike – Keep on this track. You are making a difference in this world. Bill O’Hearn

Mike Sissel Reply
March 27, 2015

Thanks Bill. I’m blessed to have great mentors like yourself who have paved the way.

Best,
Mike

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“Having been in the coaching profession for many years, I’ve gained the most satisfaction by having the opportunity to help shape the character of my players, ultimately preparing them for life beyond baseball. Mike Sissel is a masterful coach who shares a similar passion for the 'game of life'. His ability to connect with athletes is unmatched. If you have an opportunity for Mike to work with your team, it will truly be the 'gift' that will keep on giving. He has been a blessing to my family.”
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“Mike Sissel is an amazing man. With a positive force driving his ultimate vision to help the world be a better place, he reminds young and old what it means to be and do good by finding it in within. His practical steps are accessible to children and admired by adults. Whether he facilitates a retreat, in-service, assembly, or consults, positive and tangible results will be the outcome. I highly recommend him!”
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“Our school mission has always been to educate the 'whole child', including their social and emotional development. Mike’s contribution to this mission, through the delivery of his meaningful, engaging lessons, has made a lasting impact on our school culture. In addition to the rich content he shares with our students, the energy he brings to each classroom is contagious. He has been an inspiration to our staff and students and truly lives the leadership principles he teaches.”
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“Mr. Sissel has been an incredible positive influence for my kids! Every time he goes to their school they look forward to learning something new from him! I have a teen and preteen and they have had him for the last several years and have quoted his lessons to us at home. Mr. Sissel has a special gift of teaching ALL ages with passion and dedication and truly knows how to connect with his audience, which makes it fun. I have also recommended him as one on one coaching for my dear friend’s son after she went through a divorce and her son was acting out and his insight truly helped her.”

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“Mr. Sissel has been an incredible positive influence for my kids! Every time he goes to their school they look forward to learning something new from him! I have a teen and preteen and they have had him for the last several years and have quoted his lessons to us at home. Mr. Sissel has a special gift of teaching ALL ages with passion and dedication and truly knows how to connect with his audience, which makes it fun. I have also recommended him as one on one coaching for my dear friend’s son after she went through a divorce and her son was acting out and his insight truly helped her.”
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"At Nike, I like to say ‘You Own Your Career’, Mike presented to my team and provided them with strategies & tools that inspired them to take ownership of their actions, performance, and careers. It was Motivational Coaching that impacted all attendees – regardless of their roles. All team members learned what behaviors make good leaders, and that all of us can be a leader. Mike was an energetic, passionate and effective presenter. I look forward to seeing my team practicing and implementing these skills into their Personal & Professional Developmental Plans.”
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“The power of positivity is infectious and Mr. Sissel has a real gift of helping others believe that they have the mental strength within themselves to get past whatever they might be struggling with. We were introduced to Mike through Gold Medal Gymnastics and seeing the impact he has made on the lives of so many including our daughter is astounding. He helped her to overcome the feelings of insecurity, feeling bullied and showed her how to focus and 'change her lens' so that she could perform successfully.”

 

Fred Sanchez

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“The power of positivity is infectious and Mr. Sissel has a real gift of helping others believe that they have the mental strength within themselves to get past whatever they might be struggling with. We were introduced to Mike through Gold Medal Gymnastics and seeing the impact he has made on the lives of so many including our daughter is astounding. He helped her to overcome the feelings of insecurity, feeling bullied and showed her how to focus and 'change her lens' so that she could perform successfully.”  
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“Mr Sissel has been such an unbelievably positive presence both at Gold Medal Gymnastics and at our daughter's school, CEE. There is always enthusiasm and excitement when she knows that they will be having a session with him. The topics that he addresses are so important and he helps the kids see not only life's big picture, but also how individually they can make a real difference for themselves and those around them with their choices. We are thankful and look forward to more work with him in the future.”

 

Margo Ingram

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“Mr Sissel has been such an unbelievably positive presence both at Gold Medal Gymnastics and at our daughter's school, CEE. There is always enthusiasm and excitement when she knows that they will be having a session with him. The topics that he addresses are so important and he helps the kids see not only life's big picture, but also how individually they can make a real difference for themselves and those around them with their choices. We are thankful and look forward to more work with him in the future.”  
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“Wow! What an amazing person! We are so fortunate to have Mike Sissel in our lives. Having two daughters that compete, I cannot thank him enough for all of valuable lessons learned. He empowers my girls with tools and strategies to become not only better athletes but better people. He helps them to build strong character traits that will benefit them long after their time in completion has come to an end. He's had a positive influence on the mindset of our entire family and for that we are truly blessed.”

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Kim Roberts-Johson

“Wow! What an amazing person! We are so fortunate to have Mike Sissel in our lives. Having two daughters that compete, I cannot thank him enough for all of valuable lessons learned. He empowers my girls with tools and strategies to become not only better athletes but better people. He helps them to build strong character traits that will benefit them long after their time in completion has come to an end. He's had a positive influence on the mindset of our entire family and for that we are truly blessed.”
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