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It may be time to wash your windows.

August 25, 2015Mike SisselBlog

photoAs many of you know, a central theme in my Lenses of Leadership program is the concept of a lens.  Unlike the lenses you may use to correct your eyesight (e.g. glasses or contacts), the lenses I’m referring to allow us to formulate thoughts and images through the use of a much different eye; our mind’s eye.  Simply put, your mind’s eye is not what you see, but rather how you see it.

In my book, Seriously, Dad?, I introduce the idea that your mind is like a machine.  In other words, your mind’s eye is constantly at work, making sense of the world around you.  Over time, the interpretations you assign to various events (e.g. rude people) become habitual, or part of the machinery.  Therefore, each time you encounter a rude person, you simply write them off as rude.  There isn’t a whole lot of thought involved in this process, because the mental machine has already been programmed to write them off.  Your lens is firmly entrenched.

It is my belief that the single most effective way to create positive change in your life is not by changing the people or things around you, but rather by changing the lens through which you see those things or people.  This process requires two critical steps: self-awareness and self-management. 

Self-awareness essentially means that you tune into the machine, or your inner dialogue.  Sadly, most people don’t spend much time thinking about the quality (and effectiveness) of their thinking.  Only when you are aware of the machinery, can you change it. 

Self-management is learning to change your lens in the event that your current perspective isn’t serving you.  I mentioned earlier that your mind is a machine.  Well, you happen to be the mechanic and therefore have the power to change the machinery.

Below is a story which outlines the importance of these two skills and the subsequent results if we don’t use them.

A young couple moves into a new neighborhood.  The next morning while they are eating breakfast, the young woman sees her neighbor hanging the wash outside.  “That laundry is not very clean; she doesn’t know how to wash correctly.  Perhaps she needs a better laundry soap.”  Her husband looks on, remaining silent.  Every time her neighbor hangs her wash to dry, the young woman makes the same comments.  A month later, the woman is surprised to see a nice clean wash on the line and says to her husband: “Look, she’s finally learned how to wash correctly.  I wonder who taught her this?”  The husband replies, “I got up early this morning and cleaned our windows.”  And so it is with life… What we see when watching others depends on the clarity of the window through which you look.

It’s clear that the woman in this story was making an assumption that the laundry was dirty.  There was no presence of self-awareness as she relied solely on her mental machinery, which is very good at making assumptions, by the way.  Only when her husband chose to clean the windows was she able to see the laundry in a new way.  This is precisely what happens when we choose to change our lens.

The person we’ve written off as rude is now seen as an individual who just wants someone to pay attention to him. 

The person who lashes out at you in anger is now seen as someone who is deeply hurt and doesn’t know how to express her emotions.

The bully at your child’s school is now seen as a boy or girl who simply needs a heavy dose of kindness.

I invite you to take an introspective look at your own life and ask a simple, yet powerful question…

Which areas of my life could benefit from a lens change, or a window washing?                 

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“The power of positivity is infectious and Mr. Sissel has a real gift of helping others believe that they have the mental strength within themselves to get past whatever they might be struggling with. We were introduced to Mike through Gold Medal Gymnastics and seeing the impact he has made on the lives of so many including our daughter is astounding. He helped her to overcome the feelings of insecurity, feeling bullied and showed her how to focus and 'change her lens' so that she could perform successfully.”  
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“Our school mission has always been to educate the 'whole child', including their social and emotional development. Mike’s contribution to this mission, through the delivery of his meaningful, engaging lessons, has made a lasting impact on our school culture. In addition to the rich content he shares with our students, the energy he brings to each classroom is contagious. He has been an inspiration to our staff and students and truly lives the leadership principles he teaches.”
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“Mike Sissel is an amazing man. With a positive force driving his ultimate vision to help the world be a better place, he reminds young and old what it means to be and do good by finding it in within. His practical steps are accessible to children and admired by adults. Whether he facilitates a retreat, in-service, assembly, or consults, positive and tangible results will be the outcome. I highly recommend him!”
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“Wow! What an amazing person! We are so fortunate to have Mike Sissel in our lives. Having two daughters that compete, I cannot thank him enough for all of valuable lessons learned. He empowers my girls with tools and strategies to become not only better athletes but better people. He helps them to build strong character traits that will benefit them long after their time in completion has come to an end. He's had a positive influence on the mindset of our entire family and for that we are truly blessed.”
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“Mr Sissel has been such an unbelievably positive presence both at Gold Medal Gymnastics and at our daughter's school, CEE. There is always enthusiasm and excitement when she knows that they will be having a session with him. The topics that he addresses are so important and he helps the kids see not only life's big picture, but also how individually they can make a real difference for themselves and those around them with their choices. We are thankful and look forward to more work with him in the future.”

 

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“Mr Sissel has been such an unbelievably positive presence both at Gold Medal Gymnastics and at our daughter's school, CEE. There is always enthusiasm and excitement when she knows that they will be having a session with him. The topics that he addresses are so important and he helps the kids see not only life's big picture, but also how individually they can make a real difference for themselves and those around them with their choices. We are thankful and look forward to more work with him in the future.”  
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“Having been in the coaching profession for many years, I’ve gained the most satisfaction by having the opportunity to help shape the character of my players, ultimately preparing them for life beyond baseball. Mike Sissel is a masterful coach who shares a similar passion for the 'game of life'. His ability to connect with athletes is unmatched. If you have an opportunity for Mike to work with your team, it will truly be the 'gift' that will keep on giving. He has been a blessing to my family.”

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Pat Murphy

“Having been in the coaching profession for many years, I’ve gained the most satisfaction by having the opportunity to help shape the character of my players, ultimately preparing them for life beyond baseball. Mike Sissel is a masterful coach who shares a similar passion for the 'game of life'. His ability to connect with athletes is unmatched. If you have an opportunity for Mike to work with your team, it will truly be the 'gift' that will keep on giving. He has been a blessing to my family.”
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“Mike has an amazing ability to reach our children and to challenge their thinking. His positive outlook and desire to help every child be the best they can be is inspiring. My daughter comes home from her time with him with a smile on her face and new words of wisdom to share with me.  My 13 year old son watches his motivational videos and every time turns to me and says "He is so right. Everything he is saying is so true".  So thankful to have him in my children's lives.”

 

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“Mike has an amazing ability to reach our children and to challenge their thinking. His positive outlook and desire to help every child be the best they can be is inspiring. My daughter comes home from her time with him with a smile on her face and new words of wisdom to share with me.  My 13 year old son watches his motivational videos and every time turns to me and says "He is so right. Everything he is saying is so true".  So thankful to have him in my children's lives.”  
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“Mr. Sissel has been an incredible positive influence for my kids! Every time he goes to their school they look forward to learning something new from him! I have a teen and preteen and they have had him for the last several years and have quoted his lessons to us at home. Mr. Sissel has a special gift of teaching ALL ages with passion and dedication and truly knows how to connect with his audience, which makes it fun. I have also recommended him as one on one coaching for my dear friend’s son after she went through a divorce and her son was acting out and his insight truly helped her.”

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