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Dad’s wisdom

April 14, 2014Mike SisselBlog2

imagesI remember it like it was yesterday.  I would sit at the dinner table each night, complete with a slouched posture and a forced frown, trying desperately to convey to my parents that I did not want to do my homework.  As a middle school student, I knew what was right and wrong, and homework was definitely wrong.  Sound familiar?  Within minutes of starting my homework, I would often utter the words that my mom and dad had grown so accustomed to hearing, “Why do I need to learn this?  I’m never going to use it in life.” 

My dad’s response was always the same.  “Mike, I’ve told you this before.  School is about learning how to learn.”

Knowing full well that I wasn’t going to win an argument with him, I would whisper to myself, “Oh, there goes dad again with his learning how to learn speech.  Why can’t he just agree with me and let me skip the parts of my homework that are irrelevant?”       

Fast forward thirty years and I realize today that this was the single most important piece of advice my dad ever gave me.  In fact, I often refer to it in my leadership teachings as a way of helping kids to change their lens on school.

To help you understand the wisdom of my dad’s statement, I’d like to give you an example of a conversation I recently had with a student. 

Student:  I’m just sick of doing these math problems.  I know I’m going to need basic math in life, but these problems I’m working on now will never benefit me.  I’ll never use them.

Me:  You’re right, you may never use them. 

Student:  So, why do I need to learn them?

Me:  Let me give you two options.  One option is to continue using your powerless lens and see the math as worthless, which will lead to a lot of anger and frustration.  The other option is to use your curious/creative lens and see the math as an opportunity to learn how to learn, which will lead to entirely different feelings, such as hope and confidence.

Student:  What do you mean?

Me:  Well, this is something that my dad used to tell me when I would convey to him the meaningless nature of my homework.  Regardless of whether or not you will use these math problems, you will always be expected to learn.  Each time you learn something new, your brain is developing new pathways, which ultimately strengthens your mind.  Think of it as mental fitness.  You like to go to the gym to work out, right?

Student:  Yeah, but that’s different.

Me:  The only difference is the way you are choosing to see it.  Do me a favor.  The next time you sit down to work on math, I want you to replace the words have to with choose to.  If you have to do something, you are not in a position of power.  If you choose to do something, you are.  When you choose something, you are doing so because you recognize the benefits of it, which in this case is a stronger brain. 

Time will tell as to whether or not this student will apply this new lens on learning.  Student engagement, or lack thereof, is always a hot topic in education.  I truly believe that my dad’s advice is the solution.  Sure there are things about the Common Core that need to change.  However, sustainable change occurs from the inside out.  When students are able to change their lens on learning, their education experience is greatly enhanced.

Thanks dad for your infinite wisdom.  It continues to serve as a foundation of my leadership program.  I love you. 

Do you have a powerful piece of advice that your mom or dad shared with you when you were young?  Please share below.    

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Comments

Becky Richardson Reply
April 14, 2014

“If everybody did it, would it work?” This is something my father has asked time & time again. Mostly, he used this inquiry with his students. But I heard it clearly. Although it’s a rhetorical question, it’s a great one! And it has helped to define my actions more than once in life 🙂

Mike Sissel Reply
April 14, 2014

I love this Becky. Thanks so much for sharing.

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“Mike Sissel is an amazing man. With a positive force driving his ultimate vision to help the world be a better place, he reminds young and old what it means to be and do good by finding it in within. His practical steps are accessible to children and admired by adults. Whether he facilitates a retreat, in-service, assembly, or consults, positive and tangible results will be the outcome. I highly recommend him!”
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“Wow! What an amazing person! We are so fortunate to have Mike Sissel in our lives. Having two daughters that compete, I cannot thank him enough for all of valuable lessons learned. He empowers my girls with tools and strategies to become not only better athletes but better people. He helps them to build strong character traits that will benefit them long after their time in completion has come to an end. He's had a positive influence on the mindset of our entire family and for that we are truly blessed.”
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“Mr Sissel has been such an unbelievably positive presence both at Gold Medal Gymnastics and at our daughter's school, CEE. There is always enthusiasm and excitement when she knows that they will be having a session with him. The topics that he addresses are so important and he helps the kids see not only life's big picture, but also how individually they can make a real difference for themselves and those around them with their choices. We are thankful and look forward to more work with him in the future.”  
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“The power of positivity is infectious and Mr. Sissel has a real gift of helping others believe that they have the mental strength within themselves to get past whatever they might be struggling with. We were introduced to Mike through Gold Medal Gymnastics and seeing the impact he has made on the lives of so many including our daughter is astounding. He helped her to overcome the feelings of insecurity, feeling bullied and showed her how to focus and 'change her lens' so that she could perform successfully.”

 

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“The power of positivity is infectious and Mr. Sissel has a real gift of helping others believe that they have the mental strength within themselves to get past whatever they might be struggling with. We were introduced to Mike through Gold Medal Gymnastics and seeing the impact he has made on the lives of so many including our daughter is astounding. He helped her to overcome the feelings of insecurity, feeling bullied and showed her how to focus and 'change her lens' so that she could perform successfully.”  
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“Having been in the coaching profession for many years, I’ve gained the most satisfaction by having the opportunity to help shape the character of my players, ultimately preparing them for life beyond baseball. Mike Sissel is a masterful coach who shares a similar passion for the 'game of life'. His ability to connect with athletes is unmatched. If you have an opportunity for Mike to work with your team, it will truly be the 'gift' that will keep on giving. He has been a blessing to my family.”

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“Having been in the coaching profession for many years, I’ve gained the most satisfaction by having the opportunity to help shape the character of my players, ultimately preparing them for life beyond baseball. Mike Sissel is a masterful coach who shares a similar passion for the 'game of life'. His ability to connect with athletes is unmatched. If you have an opportunity for Mike to work with your team, it will truly be the 'gift' that will keep on giving. He has been a blessing to my family.”
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“Mr. Sissel has been an incredible positive influence for my kids! Every time he goes to their school they look forward to learning something new from him! I have a teen and preteen and they have had him for the last several years and have quoted his lessons to us at home. Mr. Sissel has a special gift of teaching ALL ages with passion and dedication and truly knows how to connect with his audience, which makes it fun. I have also recommended him as one on one coaching for my dear friend’s son after she went through a divorce and her son was acting out and his insight truly helped her.”

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