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love and discipline

March 7, 2019Mike SisselBlog

When I look back on my years as a young athlete, there are two distinct types of memories that come to mind.  First are the memories of my teammates and the life-long friendships I now have as a result of the comradery we developed in the trenches.  Second are the memories of my coaches.  The men who poured into me for weeks on end, ultimately making me a better person, not just a better athlete.

The coaches who stood out for me are those who demonstrated two key ingredients – love and discipline.  In that order.

Unfortunately, many young athletes today would rather have the love of their coach, minus the discipline.  They’d rather be coddled and praised, instead of corrected and humbled.

The delicate psyche of today’s youth has made it increasingly difficult for coaches to discipline their players.  In fact, some have lost their jobs because of their strict discipline policies.

As someone who trains athletes in the area of mental toughness, one of the comments I often hear is, “My coach doesn’t like me.”  Not surprisingly, a large majority of the athletes who utter these words are the recipients of some sort of disciplinary action by their coach.

Considering the fact that my own daughter says this to me on occasion, I can certainly empathize with the statement.  However, what young people often fail to understand is the distinct difference between a coach disliking a set of behaviors and disliking the person demonstrating the behaviors. 

A coach may dislike an athlete’s lack of effort, yet still love the person demonstrating the behavior.

A coach may dislike an athlete’s body language, yet still love the person demonstrating the behavior. 

A coach may dislike an athlete’s dishonesty, yet still love the person demonstrating the behavior. 

A coach may dislike an athlete’s attempt to cut corners, yet still love the person demonstrating the behavior. 

As I mentioned, great coaches operate from a place of love for their athletes. However, what’s often lost in the equation is the fact that discipline is always a natural byproduct of love.  In other words, with love comes discipline.  Not a discipline that’s meant to manipulate or coerce, but rather a discipline that’s meant to shape and grow.  It can be painful or uncomfortable at times, yet it remains rooted in love. This is where the term tough love comes into play.

When a coach disciplines an athlete and they feel discomfort, they can move in one of two directions with regard to their inner dialogue.  

They can say, “Because this hurts and it’s uncomfortable, my coach must not like me.” Or they can say, “Because this hurts and it’s uncomfortable, I trust that my coach is using this to make me better.” 

I encourage athletes to choose the latter. 

If you’d like to learn more about Mike’s mental toughness training for athletes, please contact him at mike@kaleidoeye.com.

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“Wow! What an amazing person! We are so fortunate to have Mike Sissel in our lives. Having two daughters that compete, I cannot thank him enough for all of valuable lessons learned. He empowers my girls with tools and strategies to become not only better athletes but better people. He helps them to build strong character traits that will benefit them long after their time in completion has come to an end. He's had a positive influence on the mindset of our entire family and for that we are truly blessed.”
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“Mr Sissel has been such an unbelievably positive presence both at Gold Medal Gymnastics and at our daughter's school, CEE. There is always enthusiasm and excitement when she knows that they will be having a session with him. The topics that he addresses are so important and he helps the kids see not only life's big picture, but also how individually they can make a real difference for themselves and those around them with their choices. We are thankful and look forward to more work with him in the future.”  
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“Mr. Sissel has been an incredible positive influence for my kids! Every time he goes to their school they look forward to learning something new from him! I have a teen and preteen and they have had him for the last several years and have quoted his lessons to us at home. Mr. Sissel has a special gift of teaching ALL ages with passion and dedication and truly knows how to connect with his audience, which makes it fun. I have also recommended him as one on one coaching for my dear friend’s son after she went through a divorce and her son was acting out and his insight truly helped her.”
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“The power of positivity is infectious and Mr. Sissel has a real gift of helping others believe that they have the mental strength within themselves to get past whatever they might be struggling with. We were introduced to Mike through Gold Medal Gymnastics and seeing the impact he has made on the lives of so many including our daughter is astounding. He helped her to overcome the feelings of insecurity, feeling bullied and showed her how to focus and 'change her lens' so that she could perform successfully.”

 

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“The power of positivity is infectious and Mr. Sissel has a real gift of helping others believe that they have the mental strength within themselves to get past whatever they might be struggling with. We were introduced to Mike through Gold Medal Gymnastics and seeing the impact he has made on the lives of so many including our daughter is astounding. He helped her to overcome the feelings of insecurity, feeling bullied and showed her how to focus and 'change her lens' so that she could perform successfully.”  
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“Having been in the coaching profession for many years, I’ve gained the most satisfaction by having the opportunity to help shape the character of my players, ultimately preparing them for life beyond baseball. Mike Sissel is a masterful coach who shares a similar passion for the 'game of life'. His ability to connect with athletes is unmatched. If you have an opportunity for Mike to work with your team, it will truly be the 'gift' that will keep on giving. He has been a blessing to my family.”

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Pat Murphy

“Having been in the coaching profession for many years, I’ve gained the most satisfaction by having the opportunity to help shape the character of my players, ultimately preparing them for life beyond baseball. Mike Sissel is a masterful coach who shares a similar passion for the 'game of life'. His ability to connect with athletes is unmatched. If you have an opportunity for Mike to work with your team, it will truly be the 'gift' that will keep on giving. He has been a blessing to my family.”
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