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Measuring stick vs. Mirror

February 3, 2015Mike SisselBlog

untitledLast week I wrote about the dangers of comparison and the relative ease of falling into the comparison trap.  The result is a wild ride on the emotional roller coaster.     

In this week’s blog, I want to empower you with several strategies, which are designed to combat the destructive nature of comparison.  

Instead of using a measuring stick to compare up or down, I invite you to use a mirror and focus your energies on what you can control.     

Strategy #1 – Celebrate who you are or what you already have! 

The next time you find yourself belaboring the fact that you don’t have this or you don’t have that, use your self-awareness to stop this negativity and find something to celebrate.  For example, if I find myself wallowing in self-pity over the fact that other authors may be selling more books than me, I can choose to celebrate the fact that I fulfilled a life-long dream of actually publishing a book.  Each moment I spend comparing my success with others, I lose an opportunity to celebrate my own success. 

Remember, gratitude (not stuff) leads to authentic happiness.   

Strategy #2 – Live your mission. 

Part of my Lenses of Leadership program requires that each student write a personal mission statement, which serves as the answer to the what I believe is the most important question in life – Who are you?  Notice the question doesn’t ask who do others want you to be, or who you are compared to your peers.  It’s simply a declaration of your life’s mission.   

Your mission statement can be a very powerful tool when it comes to avoiding dangerous comparisons.  Let me give you an example. 

Amy’s mission statement is to be a light in the world and to make a difference for others.  Unfortunately, Amy has spent a lot of time wondering what she needed to do or have in order to be more like her friend Rachel.  If she’s practicing self-awareness and thinking about these strategies, she can implement strategy #2 right away.  This can be done by asking the question…Do my thoughts and actions align with my mission?  In this case, the answer would be no as her thoughts are about becoming more like someone else.  Armed with a new awareness, Amy can begin to focus her energy on living her mission. 

Strategy #3 – Realize that perfect is an illusion. 

I think we can all benefit from hearing this statement from time to time.  Unfortunately, much of what we see on television or in magazines is an attempt to paint a picture of absolute perfection.  As viewers, we sometimes forget that what we are seeing on the screen (or in print) is not an image based on reality.  In fact, in this digital age, it’s quite common for companies to spend thousands of dollars just to have the images in their magazine “photoshopped” to perfection.  This pursuit of perfection especially affects young girls as they strive to achieve a certain look at any and all costs.   

Strategy #4 – Compare yourself to your own goals. 

If you’re going to compare yourself to anything, then compare yourself to your own goals.  See the goal as a future version of you and use it as a gauge throughout your journey.  Comparing yourself to your own goals will almost certainly fuel a desire to become a better you.  After all, that’s the only thing we can really control. 

Please put down the measuring stick and begin using a mirror.  The mirror will reveal your true, beautiful self.   

I believe in you. 

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“The power of positivity is infectious and Mr. Sissel has a real gift of helping others believe that they have the mental strength within themselves to get past whatever they might be struggling with. We were introduced to Mike through Gold Medal Gymnastics and seeing the impact he has made on the lives of so many including our daughter is astounding. He helped her to overcome the feelings of insecurity, feeling bullied and showed her how to focus and 'change her lens' so that she could perform successfully.”  
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"At Nike, I like to say ‘You Own Your Career’, Mike presented to my team and provided them with strategies & tools that inspired them to take ownership of their actions, performance, and careers. It was Motivational Coaching that impacted all attendees – regardless of their roles. All team members learned what behaviors make good leaders, and that all of us can be a leader. Mike was an energetic, passionate and effective presenter. I look forward to seeing my team practicing and implementing these skills into their Personal & Professional Developmental Plans.”
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“Mr Sissel has been such an unbelievably positive presence both at Gold Medal Gymnastics and at our daughter's school, CEE. There is always enthusiasm and excitement when she knows that they will be having a session with him. The topics that he addresses are so important and he helps the kids see not only life's big picture, but also how individually they can make a real difference for themselves and those around them with their choices. We are thankful and look forward to more work with him in the future.”  
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“Having been in the coaching profession for many years, I’ve gained the most satisfaction by having the opportunity to help shape the character of my players, ultimately preparing them for life beyond baseball. Mike Sissel is a masterful coach who shares a similar passion for the 'game of life'. His ability to connect with athletes is unmatched. If you have an opportunity for Mike to work with your team, it will truly be the 'gift' that will keep on giving. He has been a blessing to my family.”
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“Mr. Sissel has been an incredible positive influence for my kids! Every time he goes to their school they look forward to learning something new from him! I have a teen and preteen and they have had him for the last several years and have quoted his lessons to us at home. Mr. Sissel has a special gift of teaching ALL ages with passion and dedication and truly knows how to connect with his audience, which makes it fun. I have also recommended him as one on one coaching for my dear friend’s son after she went through a divorce and her son was acting out and his insight truly helped her.”
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“Wow! What an amazing person! We are so fortunate to have Mike Sissel in our lives. Having two daughters that compete, I cannot thank him enough for all of valuable lessons learned. He empowers my girls with tools and strategies to become not only better athletes but better people. He helps them to build strong character traits that will benefit them long after their time in completion has come to an end. He's had a positive influence on the mindset of our entire family and for that we are truly blessed.”

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2017-09-14T15:05:04-07:00

Kim Roberts-Johson

“Wow! What an amazing person! We are so fortunate to have Mike Sissel in our lives. Having two daughters that compete, I cannot thank him enough for all of valuable lessons learned. He empowers my girls with tools and strategies to become not only better athletes but better people. He helps them to build strong character traits that will benefit them long after their time in completion has come to an end. He's had a positive influence on the mindset of our entire family and for that we are truly blessed.”
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