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Parents, are you playing a game of Whac-A-Mole?

March 3, 2015Mike SisselBlog3

imagesIf you’re a parent, then suffice it to say you’re well aware of the many challenges that may arise along your parenting journey.  Whether it’s potty training your 2 year-old or respect training your teenager, challenges are inevitable.  

I once heard someone compare parenting to a game of Whac-A-Mole (see pic above).  Just when you think you’ve got one mole (challenge) under control, up pops another one.  Can you relate?     

Unfortunately, in our quest to manage the moles, we often fail to assess the effectiveness of our parenting.  It’s easy to fall into parenting patterns that are simply a manifestation of the way we were raised, which are sometimes ineffective.  

As you know, change is never easy.  However, in the case of parenting, effective change can literally change the trajectory of your child’s life.  

I invite you to begin this change process by looking at my TOP 4 parenting tips, and considering how you might make them a reality in your home.   

The best way to parent is from the inside-out.  

One of the foundational concepts I teach is the power of the ripple effect.  Simply put, everything we say or do creates an invisible ripple for the people around us.  Your child is influenced each and every day by the choices you make.  Therefore, it’s important that we take a look at ourselves and ask the question, “What areas of my life do I need to change so that I can begin to create a more positive ripple for my child?”  One of the prerequisites for change is your ability to be vulnerable.  To learn more about vulnerability, click here.   

We all see life through various lenses, including your child.  Helping them to see life through a different lens, when appropriate, is a critical component of their personal development.

Unfortunately, the default lens for many is the powerless lens.  Essentially, we give our power away to other people and things as a result of our complaining or blaming.  For example, when your child complains about their bedtime or the amount of homework they have, it’s important for them to realize that they are trying to control something that is out of their control.  For more information on how to change your lens, click here.

It’s important to validate your child’s emotions.

As a parent, it’s easy to look at our children and wonder why they are thinking or feeling a certain way, which typically comes from a place of judgment, not empathy.  Rather than questioning why your child is feeling angry or upset, simply validate it by saying, “I can tell that you’re angry about this.”  This statement alone will let them know that you care about their feelings and they will be more likely to open up to you in the future.  To learn more about empathic listening, click here.  

Make gratitude a daily practice.

There are countless scientific studies which have proven that gratitude and happiness are directly proportionate.  In other words, the more time we spend in gratitude, the happier we become.  Make it a daily practice to share gratitude with each other.  Whether it’s at the dinner table or in the car on the way to school, modeling gratitude for your child is tremendously powerful.  To learn more about the power of gratitude, click here.     

Please know that attempting to be a perfect parent is akin to chasing the wind.  We are all going to make mistakes on this journey.  In fact, it’s often the mistakes that guide us in a new, more effective direction.  I encourage you to constantly seek opportunities to add to your arsenal of parenting tools and strategies.    

If you’d like to learn more about my parenting workshops, please email me at mike@kaleidoeye.com.    

Comments

Devon Daniel Reply
March 4, 2015

Love this post. I too believe parenting is more inside out. I believe our kids will leave more from who we are as a person, than what we tell them to be. The best way to teach is from example. Love this post!

Mike Sissel Reply
March 4, 2015

Hi Devon. Thank you for your comments. I couldn’t agree more that WHO we are as parents is so much more important that WHAT we say.

All my best,
Mike

Jenny Reply
March 4, 2015

I literally crawled into bed the other night thinking about parenting being like Wack-a-mole, only some days I feel like I’m the wacker and other days the mole! Great post.

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“Wow! What an amazing person! We are so fortunate to have Mike Sissel in our lives. Having two daughters that compete, I cannot thank him enough for all of valuable lessons learned. He empowers my girls with tools and strategies to become not only better athletes but better people. He helps them to build strong character traits that will benefit them long after their time in completion has come to an end. He's had a positive influence on the mindset of our entire family and for that we are truly blessed.”
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“Mike Sissel is an amazing man. With a positive force driving his ultimate vision to help the world be a better place, he reminds young and old what it means to be and do good by finding it in within. His practical steps are accessible to children and admired by adults. Whether he facilitates a retreat, in-service, assembly, or consults, positive and tangible results will be the outcome. I highly recommend him!”

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“Mike Sissel is an amazing man. With a positive force driving his ultimate vision to help the world be a better place, he reminds young and old what it means to be and do good by finding it in within. His practical steps are accessible to children and admired by adults. Whether he facilitates a retreat, in-service, assembly, or consults, positive and tangible results will be the outcome. I highly recommend him!”
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“Mike has an amazing ability to reach our children and to challenge their thinking. His positive outlook and desire to help every child be the best they can be is inspiring. My daughter comes home from her time with him with a smile on her face and new words of wisdom to share with me.  My 13 year old son watches his motivational videos and every time turns to me and says "He is so right. Everything he is saying is so true".  So thankful to have him in my children's lives.”

 

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2017-09-14T15:01:56-07:00

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“Mike has an amazing ability to reach our children and to challenge their thinking. His positive outlook and desire to help every child be the best they can be is inspiring. My daughter comes home from her time with him with a smile on her face and new words of wisdom to share with me.  My 13 year old son watches his motivational videos and every time turns to me and says "He is so right. Everything he is saying is so true".  So thankful to have him in my children's lives.”  
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“The power of positivity is infectious and Mr. Sissel has a real gift of helping others believe that they have the mental strength within themselves to get past whatever they might be struggling with. We were introduced to Mike through Gold Medal Gymnastics and seeing the impact he has made on the lives of so many including our daughter is astounding. He helped her to overcome the feelings of insecurity, feeling bullied and showed her how to focus and 'change her lens' so that she could perform successfully.”

 

Fred Sanchez

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“The power of positivity is infectious and Mr. Sissel has a real gift of helping others believe that they have the mental strength within themselves to get past whatever they might be struggling with. We were introduced to Mike through Gold Medal Gymnastics and seeing the impact he has made on the lives of so many including our daughter is astounding. He helped her to overcome the feelings of insecurity, feeling bullied and showed her how to focus and 'change her lens' so that she could perform successfully.”  
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“Mr. Sissel has been an incredible positive influence for my kids! Every time he goes to their school they look forward to learning something new from him! I have a teen and preteen and they have had him for the last several years and have quoted his lessons to us at home. Mr. Sissel has a special gift of teaching ALL ages with passion and dedication and truly knows how to connect with his audience, which makes it fun. I have also recommended him as one on one coaching for my dear friend’s son after she went through a divorce and her son was acting out and his insight truly helped her.”

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“Mr. Sissel has been an incredible positive influence for my kids! Every time he goes to their school they look forward to learning something new from him! I have a teen and preteen and they have had him for the last several years and have quoted his lessons to us at home. Mr. Sissel has a special gift of teaching ALL ages with passion and dedication and truly knows how to connect with his audience, which makes it fun. I have also recommended him as one on one coaching for my dear friend’s son after she went through a divorce and her son was acting out and his insight truly helped her.”
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“Having been in the coaching profession for many years, I’ve gained the most satisfaction by having the opportunity to help shape the character of my players, ultimately preparing them for life beyond baseball. Mike Sissel is a masterful coach who shares a similar passion for the 'game of life'. His ability to connect with athletes is unmatched. If you have an opportunity for Mike to work with your team, it will truly be the 'gift' that will keep on giving. He has been a blessing to my family.”

Pat Murphy

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Pat Murphy

“Having been in the coaching profession for many years, I’ve gained the most satisfaction by having the opportunity to help shape the character of my players, ultimately preparing them for life beyond baseball. Mike Sissel is a masterful coach who shares a similar passion for the 'game of life'. His ability to connect with athletes is unmatched. If you have an opportunity for Mike to work with your team, it will truly be the 'gift' that will keep on giving. He has been a blessing to my family.”
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“Mr Sissel has been such an unbelievably positive presence both at Gold Medal Gymnastics and at our daughter's school, CEE. There is always enthusiasm and excitement when she knows that they will be having a session with him. The topics that he addresses are so important and he helps the kids see not only life's big picture, but also how individually they can make a real difference for themselves and those around them with their choices. We are thankful and look forward to more work with him in the future.”

 

Margo Ingram

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“Mr Sissel has been such an unbelievably positive presence both at Gold Medal Gymnastics and at our daughter's school, CEE. There is always enthusiasm and excitement when she knows that they will be having a session with him. The topics that he addresses are so important and he helps the kids see not only life's big picture, but also how individually they can make a real difference for themselves and those around them with their choices. We are thankful and look forward to more work with him in the future.”  
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Jeff DuMont

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Jeff DuMont

"At Nike, I like to say ‘You Own Your Career’, Mike presented to my team and provided them with strategies & tools that inspired them to take ownership of their actions, performance, and careers. It was Motivational Coaching that impacted all attendees – regardless of their roles. All team members learned what behaviors make good leaders, and that all of us can be a leader. Mike was an energetic, passionate and effective presenter. I look forward to seeing my team practicing and implementing these skills into their Personal & Professional Developmental Plans.”
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