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Response-Ability

September 24, 2014Mike SisselBlog

imagesOne of the things I enjoy most about the work I do is the ability to exercise creative freedom when attempting to describe various leadership concepts to students.  For example, last week, instead of simply sharing the dictionary definition for the word empower, I asked students to rearrange the first two letters of the word, which uncovered an entirely new meaning: ME Power. 

Below is an open letter I wrote to pre-teens and teens.  My goal is to change their lens with regard to a word that is often misused, or even misunderstood. 

Dear teen,

I’m sure you’ve heard the word “responsibility” a million times.  In fact, you may have been reprimanded by a parent or teacher for making an irresponsible choice.  Or maybe you’ve heard someone refer to another individual as either responsible or irresponsible in nature.  Regardless of the context, it seems that this word is often used as a blanket statement implying that someone is either doing the right or the wrong thing.  Unfortunately, it’s frequently used to point out the wrong choice.  Take for example the following statements.

Was that the responsible thing to do?

Why aren’t you being responsible?

You need to be more responsible.

I guess I can’t trust you because you aren’t acting responsibly.

If you were the recipient of any of these statements, would you feel empowered to act more responsibly?  Probably not!  You might be too busy beating yourself up for failing to meet someone else’s expectations (i.e. teacher, parent, coach, etc…).

As drivers in your lives, you don’t have to wait for others to tell you whether or not you are demonstrating this life skill.  It’s more important for you to grow from the inside out, which means that you are choosing to be responsible, not just because others have told you to do so.  The only way to accomplish this is to establish a definition for responsibility that supports the notion of inside out change.  So, here it is.

Responsibility = your ability to respond

If you break this word down into its root word and suffix, you end up with response + ability, thus the reason for the above definition.  While this may appear quite simple in terms of its relatively few words, the tremendous power that it holds, if fully understood, can completely change your life.

At this point, some of you might be asking,  “Okay, this definition makes sense, but what am I responding to?”  Herein lies the enormity of the power I mentioned before; you are responding to life’s circumstances.  Jack Canfield, co-author of the tremendously successful Chicken Soup for the Soul series, often says that life is just out there “lifing”.  While it’s true that all of us live very different lives, it’s safe to say that the circumstances (or “lifing”) we experience, good or bad, are quite similar.  Furthermore, it’s important to note that the majority of these circumstances are out of our control.  Take for example the weather.  While meteorologists can use the most technologically advanced tools to make fairly accurate predictions, the weather itself is ultimately beyond their control.  The same is true for our lives.  As much as we try to control or predict the kind of weather we encounter, it remains beyond our control.  In fact, the only thing we completely control is our response to the weather. 

Let’s go back to our new definition of responsibility for a moment.  If responsibility simply means our ability to respond to life’s weather, then it would only make sense to exercise effective responses, right?  In other words, to respond to life in a way that creates positive results.  For example, if I fail my test (bad weather), then an effective response would be to learn from the mistakes and carry forth this learning (positive result). 

Here are a few other examples…

Scenario 1

Weather – Your parents ask you to finish up your chores around the house.                                 

Ineffective Response – Why do I have to do these stupid chores?         

Effective Response – I’ll get them done quickly so I can enjoy my time later.              

Scenario 2

Weather – You are cut from the baseball (or softball) team, but you believe you should’ve made it. 

Ineffective Response – That coach doesn’t know anything.  What is he/she thinking?

Effective Response – Once I’ve calmed down, I think I’ll talk to the coach to find out what skills I can improve on for next year.                   

What do you see is the biggest difference between the responses?  It’s clear that the ineffective responses are directed at someone or something else.  They often are accompanied with blame or excuses.  Rather than being a driver, they put you firmly in the passenger seat as you relinquish all power to something beyond your control.  Effective responses typically include consequential thinking.  In other words, when you are responding to the weather, you are always considering the outcome or result of your response.

I encourage you to flex your response-ability muscle by thinking about the weather in your own life, then considering several effective responses. 

I believe in you.

Mike Sissel (a former teen)

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“Mr. Sissel has been an incredible positive influence for my kids! Every time he goes to their school they look forward to learning something new from him! I have a teen and preteen and they have had him for the last several years and have quoted his lessons to us at home. Mr. Sissel has a special gift of teaching ALL ages with passion and dedication and truly knows how to connect with his audience, which makes it fun. I have also recommended him as one on one coaching for my dear friend’s son after she went through a divorce and her son was acting out and his insight truly helped her.”

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2017-09-14T14:39:25-07:00

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“Mr. Sissel has been an incredible positive influence for my kids! Every time he goes to their school they look forward to learning something new from him! I have a teen and preteen and they have had him for the last several years and have quoted his lessons to us at home. Mr. Sissel has a special gift of teaching ALL ages with passion and dedication and truly knows how to connect with his audience, which makes it fun. I have also recommended him as one on one coaching for my dear friend’s son after she went through a divorce and her son was acting out and his insight truly helped her.”
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2018-05-23T09:46:00-07:00

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“Having been in the coaching profession for many years, I’ve gained the most satisfaction by having the opportunity to help shape the character of my players, ultimately preparing them for life beyond baseball. Mike Sissel is a masterful coach who shares a similar passion for the 'game of life'. His ability to connect with athletes is unmatched. If you have an opportunity for Mike to work with your team, it will truly be the 'gift' that will keep on giving. He has been a blessing to my family.”
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Jeff DuMont

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2018-05-23T09:41:45-07:00

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"At Nike, I like to say ‘You Own Your Career’, Mike presented to my team and provided them with strategies & tools that inspired them to take ownership of their actions, performance, and careers. It was Motivational Coaching that impacted all attendees – regardless of their roles. All team members learned what behaviors make good leaders, and that all of us can be a leader. Mike was an energetic, passionate and effective presenter. I look forward to seeing my team practicing and implementing these skills into their Personal & Professional Developmental Plans.”
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“The power of positivity is infectious and Mr. Sissel has a real gift of helping others believe that they have the mental strength within themselves to get past whatever they might be struggling with. We were introduced to Mike through Gold Medal Gymnastics and seeing the impact he has made on the lives of so many including our daughter is astounding. He helped her to overcome the feelings of insecurity, feeling bullied and showed her how to focus and 'change her lens' so that she could perform successfully.”

 

Fred Sanchez

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2017-09-14T15:02:28-07:00

Fred Sanchez

“The power of positivity is infectious and Mr. Sissel has a real gift of helping others believe that they have the mental strength within themselves to get past whatever they might be struggling with. We were introduced to Mike through Gold Medal Gymnastics and seeing the impact he has made on the lives of so many including our daughter is astounding. He helped her to overcome the feelings of insecurity, feeling bullied and showed her how to focus and 'change her lens' so that she could perform successfully.”  
https://kaleidoeye.com/testimonials/fred-sanchez/
“Mike has an amazing ability to reach our children and to challenge their thinking. His positive outlook and desire to help every child be the best they can be is inspiring. My daughter comes home from her time with him with a smile on her face and new words of wisdom to share with me.  My 13 year old son watches his motivational videos and every time turns to me and says "He is so right. Everything he is saying is so true".  So thankful to have him in my children's lives.”

 

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2017-09-14T15:01:56-07:00

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“Mike has an amazing ability to reach our children and to challenge their thinking. His positive outlook and desire to help every child be the best they can be is inspiring. My daughter comes home from her time with him with a smile on her face and new words of wisdom to share with me.  My 13 year old son watches his motivational videos and every time turns to me and says "He is so right. Everything he is saying is so true".  So thankful to have him in my children's lives.”  
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Christie Winkelmann

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2018-05-23T09:49:19-07:00

Christie Winkelmann

“Our school mission has always been to educate the 'whole child', including their social and emotional development. Mike’s contribution to this mission, through the delivery of his meaningful, engaging lessons, has made a lasting impact on our school culture. In addition to the rich content he shares with our students, the energy he brings to each classroom is contagious. He has been an inspiration to our staff and students and truly lives the leadership principles he teaches.”
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“Wow! What an amazing person! We are so fortunate to have Mike Sissel in our lives. Having two daughters that compete, I cannot thank him enough for all of valuable lessons learned. He empowers my girls with tools and strategies to become not only better athletes but better people. He helps them to build strong character traits that will benefit them long after their time in completion has come to an end. He's had a positive influence on the mindset of our entire family and for that we are truly blessed.”

Kim Roberts-Johson

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2017-09-14T15:05:04-07:00

Kim Roberts-Johson

“Wow! What an amazing person! We are so fortunate to have Mike Sissel in our lives. Having two daughters that compete, I cannot thank him enough for all of valuable lessons learned. He empowers my girls with tools and strategies to become not only better athletes but better people. He helps them to build strong character traits that will benefit them long after their time in completion has come to an end. He's had a positive influence on the mindset of our entire family and for that we are truly blessed.”
https://kaleidoeye.com/testimonials/kim-roberts-johson/
“Mike Sissel is an amazing man. With a positive force driving his ultimate vision to help the world be a better place, he reminds young and old what it means to be and do good by finding it in within. His practical steps are accessible to children and admired by adults. Whether he facilitates a retreat, in-service, assembly, or consults, positive and tangible results will be the outcome. I highly recommend him!”

Greg Hebert

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2018-05-23T09:48:39-07:00

Greg Hebert

“Mike Sissel is an amazing man. With a positive force driving his ultimate vision to help the world be a better place, he reminds young and old what it means to be and do good by finding it in within. His practical steps are accessible to children and admired by adults. Whether he facilitates a retreat, in-service, assembly, or consults, positive and tangible results will be the outcome. I highly recommend him!”
https://kaleidoeye.com/testimonials/greg-hebert/
“Mr Sissel has been such an unbelievably positive presence both at Gold Medal Gymnastics and at our daughter's school, CEE. There is always enthusiasm and excitement when she knows that they will be having a session with him. The topics that he addresses are so important and he helps the kids see not only life's big picture, but also how individually they can make a real difference for themselves and those around them with their choices. We are thankful and look forward to more work with him in the future.”

 

Margo Ingram

KaleidoEye
2017-09-14T15:04:38-07:00

Margo Ingram

“Mr Sissel has been such an unbelievably positive presence both at Gold Medal Gymnastics and at our daughter's school, CEE. There is always enthusiasm and excitement when she knows that they will be having a session with him. The topics that he addresses are so important and he helps the kids see not only life's big picture, but also how individually they can make a real difference for themselves and those around them with their choices. We are thankful and look forward to more work with him in the future.”  
https://kaleidoeye.com/testimonials/margo-ingram/
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