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The power of our lenses

April 26, 2014Mike SisselBlog

Several years ago, before we were married, my wife and I participated in a program called The Landmark Forum, which consisted of three intense days of personal growth.  Although I wasn’t thrilled about going, I knew that it was time to address some of my inner struggles, such as a lack of self-confidence that had plagued me for most of my life.   After experiencing the peaks and valleys of this 3-day emotional roller coaster ride, I walked away with an absolute clarity that I was ultimately responsible for my reality.  Furthermore, I realized that my inner struggles were not the result of circumstances, but rather the way I chose to interpret those circumstances.  From that moment forward, I made a commitment to see life through a new lens; a lens of hope and optimism.         

You see, each of us have two basic types of lenses, powerless and empowering.  Simply put, our empowering lenses consist of thoughts and beliefs that serve us well, whereas our powerless lenses consist of thoughts and beliefs that are limiting in nature.  For example, if you chose an empowering lens with regard to your career, such as – I am capable of great things – it’s likely that success will follow because you will constantly be looking for opportunity, or what is possible.  Conversely, if you chose a powerless lens, such as – This is a dead end job – it’s likely that you will experience constant frustration and anger because you are only looking for limitations, or what isn’t possible. 

The great news is that through a process of consistent awareness with regard to our thoughts, each of us possess an ability to change our powerless lenses at any given time.  The difficulty lies in the fact that we often accept them as the truth because we’ve spent years wearing the same lens.  Furthermore, we have subconsciously searched for evidence to support our current lenses.  In my case, I spent my entire adolescence wearing the powerless lens of – I’m not good enough – and had plenty of evidence to prove it.  I’ve often had students tell me that they’ve tried desperately to change their negative thinking, but it just wasn’t working.  When I ask them how long they’ve tried, the answer is usually in the range of two or three days.  Guess what?  Each of us have spent years shaping our lenses through consistent, rigid thinking.  It’s not going to change over night.  This is the essence of mental discipline.     

Let’s look at an example of this process. 

Julie has a powerless lens that has plagued her since elementary school.  When she was in the fifth grade, a group of girls (who she thought were her friends) formed an exclusive recess club and Julie did not receive an invitation.  Consequently, she spent most of her time at recess by herself, often collecting evidence to support her powerless lens, which was – People don’t like me.  After a while, this way of thinking acted on autopilot and each time she met someone new, she kept her distance because she was convinced that people didn’t like her.  While Julie maintained friendships throughout her years of schooling, she never allowed herself to get too close to anyone.  All of this was an effort to support a lens that was formed in elementary school.   

Now, imagine that Julie had an opportunity to design a personal experiment that was meant to challenge this lens.  Tired of feeling this limitation and desperately wanting to change the way she sees herself, she chose a new, empowering lens that would replace the existing one.  Her new belief became – I attract positive, caring people into my life.  Now, instead of searching for evidence to support her old powerless lens, she began collecting evidence for this new empowering lens.  It was absolutely incredible what began to happen in her life.  Gradually she would notice new and existing friends demonstrating genuine support and care for her.  She felt a sense of security that she hadn’t felt in a long time.  As a result, she was able to be herself and not worry about whether someone was going to exclude her or not.   

What really happened in this process?  Some of you may be saying that is the stuff of fairy tales and life doesn’t work this way.  Others might want the answer to my question so that you can begin implementing this strategy in your own lives.  It’s quite possible that nothing outside of Julie changed much at all.  In fact, those same friends that she noticed being supportive and caring had probably been demonstrating this all along.  The key was Julie’s willingness to see things that she wasn’t willing to see before.  She had spent so much time searching for evidence to support her powerless lens that she failed to recognize opposing evidence.   

When you change your lens, you change your life.  

If you, or someone you know, has a child between the ages of 8-15 years old, I’ll be offering three summer workshops in Arizona, which are designed to help students understand the power of their own lenses.  I’d be grateful if you would share the following link with family and friends who might be interested in this opportunity (click here).     

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“Mr Sissel has been such an unbelievably positive presence both at Gold Medal Gymnastics and at our daughter's school, CEE. There is always enthusiasm and excitement when she knows that they will be having a session with him. The topics that he addresses are so important and he helps the kids see not only life's big picture, but also how individually they can make a real difference for themselves and those around them with their choices. We are thankful and look forward to more work with him in the future.”  
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“Having been in the coaching profession for many years, I’ve gained the most satisfaction by having the opportunity to help shape the character of my players, ultimately preparing them for life beyond baseball. Mike Sissel is a masterful coach who shares a similar passion for the 'game of life'. His ability to connect with athletes is unmatched. If you have an opportunity for Mike to work with your team, it will truly be the 'gift' that will keep on giving. He has been a blessing to my family.”
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“Mr. Sissel has been an incredible positive influence for my kids! Every time he goes to their school they look forward to learning something new from him! I have a teen and preteen and they have had him for the last several years and have quoted his lessons to us at home. Mr. Sissel has a special gift of teaching ALL ages with passion and dedication and truly knows how to connect with his audience, which makes it fun. I have also recommended him as one on one coaching for my dear friend’s son after she went through a divorce and her son was acting out and his insight truly helped her.”
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"At Nike, I like to say ‘You Own Your Career’, Mike presented to my team and provided them with strategies & tools that inspired them to take ownership of their actions, performance, and careers. It was Motivational Coaching that impacted all attendees – regardless of their roles. All team members learned what behaviors make good leaders, and that all of us can be a leader. Mike was an energetic, passionate and effective presenter. I look forward to seeing my team practicing and implementing these skills into their Personal & Professional Developmental Plans.”
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“The power of positivity is infectious and Mr. Sissel has a real gift of helping others believe that they have the mental strength within themselves to get past whatever they might be struggling with. We were introduced to Mike through Gold Medal Gymnastics and seeing the impact he has made on the lives of so many including our daughter is astounding. He helped her to overcome the feelings of insecurity, feeling bullied and showed her how to focus and 'change her lens' so that she could perform successfully.”

 

Fred Sanchez

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Fred Sanchez

“The power of positivity is infectious and Mr. Sissel has a real gift of helping others believe that they have the mental strength within themselves to get past whatever they might be struggling with. We were introduced to Mike through Gold Medal Gymnastics and seeing the impact he has made on the lives of so many including our daughter is astounding. He helped her to overcome the feelings of insecurity, feeling bullied and showed her how to focus and 'change her lens' so that she could perform successfully.”  
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“Mike Sissel is an amazing man. With a positive force driving his ultimate vision to help the world be a better place, he reminds young and old what it means to be and do good by finding it in within. His practical steps are accessible to children and admired by adults. Whether he facilitates a retreat, in-service, assembly, or consults, positive and tangible results will be the outcome. I highly recommend him!”

Greg Hebert

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“Mike Sissel is an amazing man. With a positive force driving his ultimate vision to help the world be a better place, he reminds young and old what it means to be and do good by finding it in within. His practical steps are accessible to children and admired by adults. Whether he facilitates a retreat, in-service, assembly, or consults, positive and tangible results will be the outcome. I highly recommend him!”
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“Wow! What an amazing person! We are so fortunate to have Mike Sissel in our lives. Having two daughters that compete, I cannot thank him enough for all of valuable lessons learned. He empowers my girls with tools and strategies to become not only better athletes but better people. He helps them to build strong character traits that will benefit them long after their time in completion has come to an end. He's had a positive influence on the mindset of our entire family and for that we are truly blessed.”

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2017-09-14T15:05:04-07:00

Kim Roberts-Johson

“Wow! What an amazing person! We are so fortunate to have Mike Sissel in our lives. Having two daughters that compete, I cannot thank him enough for all of valuable lessons learned. He empowers my girls with tools and strategies to become not only better athletes but better people. He helps them to build strong character traits that will benefit them long after their time in completion has come to an end. He's had a positive influence on the mindset of our entire family and for that we are truly blessed.”
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