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The process of unlearning

September 16, 2013Mike SisselBlog12

IMG_7637What if I told you that a fundamental component of our success is the ability to “unlearn” many of the things that we’ve already learned?  I know.  I know.  You’d probably say I was crazy, right?  Let me explain.

Most of you are probably familiar with the work of Michaelangelo, considered by many to be one of the greatest artists of all time.  Each year millions of tourists flock to the Italian city of Florence to see Michaelangelo’s greatest masterpiece, the Statue of David.  Upon its completion in 1504, this 17 ft. tall statue, with its incredible precision and overall beauty, generated an immediate buzz amongst the townspeople.  Many were left wondering how Michaelangelo was able to create a sculpture of this magnitude, and with so much detail, out of what was once a huge slab of marble.  When asked this question, Michaelangelo would smile and humbly reply by saying, “Actually, it was quite simple.  I didn’t create David, you see.  David already existed concealed within the stone.  All I had to do was chip away at what wasn’t David.”  His response serves as a perfect metaphor for the process of “unlearning” that I mentioned earlier.

When I look into the eyes of my seventeen-month old daughter, I see a world of infinite possibility and an unbridled curiosity for the world around her.  You see, there is no such thing as doubt, suffering, guilt, or any other limiting beliefs that exist in her mind.  This is certainly evident in the countless attempts she has made to climb over our protective gate, still exhibiting that “I can do this” smile that is a fixture of her being.  The fact of the matter is that she hasn’t “learned” the concept of doubt yet and therefore can’t even comprehend “not” being able to do something.

Let’s fast forward 10-15 years to the age of most of the students I work with as a leadership coach.  Why is it that many of these students exhibit behaviors that are consistent with low self-esteem?  Why don’t they possess that same resiliency and absolute belief that my daughter now has?  The answer is simple.  Throughout their childhood, they were educated about their limitations.  Whether it’s a television show that sends a message of inferiority or a friend telling them that they won’t amount to anything, these messages serve as “learning” experiences that generate limiting beliefs such as “I can’t do anything right.”  While there is clearly no truth in this statement for any human being, we begin to accept it as the truth and it ultimately shapes our choices.

Now let’s apply the metaphor in the story of Michaelangelo’s response to the creation of David.  It’s clear that the finished product was a thing of absolute beauty and brilliance.  However, let me remind you that Michaelangelo referred to this magnificent sculpture as something that already existed concealed in the stone.  His job was to chip away at everything that wasn’t David.  Just as Michaelangelo was able to chip away at the various layers of marble that represented who David wasn’t, we too can chip away, or unlearn, the various layers that prevent us from achieving our true potential.  We are NOT doubt, fear, guilt, discouragement, or suffering.  These all originated in the mind as a response to outside stimulus; we learned them.  The “unlearning” process begins with a commitment to self-discovery and willingness to change a set of beliefs that quite honestly have been running on auto-pilot for years.

 

Comments

Joyce Stevens Reply
September 17, 2013

Thanks Mike! I am going to have Hannah read this. She is a Freshman at The University of Arizona and is a student athlete playing soccer. New coach, new team. She told her dad and I this past weekend that she needs more confidence on the field. Maybe this will help!

Joyce

Mike Sissel Reply
September 17, 2013

Hi Joyce. I’m glad that Hannah will have a chance to read this story. Please tell her that I believe in her.

Regards,
Mike

Tom Hewlett Reply
September 17, 2013

Eric Fromm said “Man’s main job is to give birth to himself.” In preparing to write our personal mission statements, Stephen Covey advised that we “detect rather than create our mission and purpose in life.” In essence our task is to discover the greatness that lies within us and essentially give birth to our powerful purpose. As adults and transition people to the young hearts and minds that follow, one of our most noble endeavors is to help a child realize the greatness that resides within him or her and to see it so clearly they feel compelled to act on it.

Mike Sissel Reply
September 17, 2013

Hi Tom. I couldn’t agree more. I like how Stephen Covey chose to use the word “detect” when referring to our mission statement.

I appreciate the contribution you are making.

Regards,
Mike

Karen Lytle Reply
September 17, 2013

Having stood in front of the Statue of David in Florence countless times, you nailed it. (No pun intended.)

What an absolute blessing that you are working with your students NOW, before these “un-truths” take root. It will help prevent future difficulties in life.

Thank you! Michael, for your passion for teaching our Truths.

Mike Sissel Reply
September 17, 2013

Hi Karen. Thank you so much for your kind words. I consider it a true blessing to have the opportunity to share my passion with so many students.

Regards,
Mike

Susie Rodgers Reply
September 17, 2013

What an amazing perspective – and dead on! I have never heard it explained this way – it makes it so easy to understand. It’s something everyone needs to take to heart. My hat is off to you. I hope you continue to teach kids for a long time – they need someone like you.

Mike Sissel Reply
September 17, 2013

Hi Susie. Thank you so much for your kind words. I agree that we all need to take this message to heart. It’s so easy to get caught up in who we “should” be instead of taking the time to discover who we “really are”.

Regards,
Mike

Garvin DeShazer Reply
September 17, 2013

Excellent analogy. I completely agree! I’m eager to connect with you and learn more about your work.

Mike Sissel Reply
September 17, 2013

Hi Garvin. Thank you for your kind words. I look forward to connecting with you as well. I’ve heard great things about the work you are doing as well.

Regards,
Mike

Dena Reply
September 17, 2013

I agree. It’s in the unlearning that we start to really learn. If we could teach that to children in the masses we would have a different world.

Mike Sissel Reply
September 17, 2013

Hi Dena. Thanks so much for your comment. Hats off to you as well for the difference you are making with your Girls Rule! foundation.

Regards,
Mike

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