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True freedom

July 27, 2014Mike SisselBlog

untitledA few days ago I had the great fortune of working with a fabulous group of 8 to 11 year olds in one of my Lenses of Leadership workshops.  As is often the case, many of the students showed up with a look of apprehension, wondering what exactly their parents had signed them up for.  I began as I always do by encouraging the students to choose a new lens with regard to the word leadership; a lens that would empower them to embrace their inner leaders.

As the workshop progressed, there were occasional light bulb moments on the students’ faces as we continued to add depth to our conversation.  As I scanned the room to assess for understanding, I noticed Jeremy (not his real name), who was sitting toward the back of the room, with his proverbial wall up and obviously unwilling to mentally accept what I was teaching.  Trying to be open to his apparent look of anger and frustration, I continued on, hoping that his light bulb moment was just around the corner. 

As we neared the end of our time together, I knew I had one final chance to reach Jeremy.  It was time to introduce the most powerful tool in my curriculum; the Head, Heart, Feet model.  Normally I would ask the students to choose their least favorite subjects in school and use them as their emotional triggers, or circumstances.  Then I would walk them through the process of choosing new lenses, which would in turn influence their emotions and actions.  Today I chose something different.  I was determined to break through Jeremy’s wall, so I decided to ask the students the following question. 

“What makes you angry?”

As they wrote down their responses, I couldn’t help but notice Jeremy writing feverishly on his paper.  Clearly, he was writing more than one of his emotional triggers.  Here is the conversation that ensued.

“Okay, who would like to share their trigger?  Jeremy, let’s start with you.”

“I have a few of them, but the one that angers me the most is when kids make fun of the way I look.”  He then explained to the class specific examples of the teasing.

“I can understand your frustration.  I too was teased when I was your age.  However, I want to share something with you—all of you—that just might change your lives.  It’s not the people teasing you who are making you angry.”  I paused at this point to let this thought resonate.  Jeremy was clearly frustrated. 

“How can you say that?”

“Look at your Head, Heart, Feet model (see diagram below).  Notice the clouds labeled “My Circumstances”.  Between the clouds and your thoughts is a space.  I like to call this space “freedom.”  You see, people are going to say mean things to other people.  These are circumstances.  True power, however, is recognizing that we will always have the freedom to think about our circumstances in any way we choose.  So, the next time someone teases you, I want you to pause for a minute and think about how you are going to respond.  Are you going to give your power to this person by getting angry, or are you going to keep your power by recognizing that his words do not define you?  Someone could walk into this room right now and tell me that I am the absolute worse teacher he’s ever met.  While it would certainly be natural for me to feel upset, I could also choose to keep my power by focusing on all of the people who believe in me.  You are a beautiful person Jeremy and NO ONE has the power to tell you otherwise.”

His wall was broken.  Jeremy’s anger was replaced with a look of confidence and hope.  It was if I had given him a gift and he had finally opened it. 

Victor Frankl’s quote is one of my absolute favorites.  As someone who used this emotional freedom to persevere through the atrocities of The Holocaust, he certainly provides hope that it is possible, regardless of your circumstances.

I invite you to identify your emotional triggers and consider the fact that you really do have the freedom to respond in any way you choose. 

head, heart, feet  

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“Mike Sissel is an amazing man. With a positive force driving his ultimate vision to help the world be a better place, he reminds young and old what it means to be and do good by finding it in within. His practical steps are accessible to children and admired by adults. Whether he facilitates a retreat, in-service, assembly, or consults, positive and tangible results will be the outcome. I highly recommend him!”

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2018-05-23T09:48:39-07:00

Greg Hebert

“Mike Sissel is an amazing man. With a positive force driving his ultimate vision to help the world be a better place, he reminds young and old what it means to be and do good by finding it in within. His practical steps are accessible to children and admired by adults. Whether he facilitates a retreat, in-service, assembly, or consults, positive and tangible results will be the outcome. I highly recommend him!”
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2018-05-23T09:49:19-07:00

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“Our school mission has always been to educate the 'whole child', including their social and emotional development. Mike’s contribution to this mission, through the delivery of his meaningful, engaging lessons, has made a lasting impact on our school culture. In addition to the rich content he shares with our students, the energy he brings to each classroom is contagious. He has been an inspiration to our staff and students and truly lives the leadership principles he teaches.”
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“The power of positivity is infectious and Mr. Sissel has a real gift of helping others believe that they have the mental strength within themselves to get past whatever they might be struggling with. We were introduced to Mike through Gold Medal Gymnastics and seeing the impact he has made on the lives of so many including our daughter is astounding. He helped her to overcome the feelings of insecurity, feeling bullied and showed her how to focus and 'change her lens' so that she could perform successfully.”

 

Fred Sanchez

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2017-09-14T15:02:28-07:00

Fred Sanchez

“The power of positivity is infectious and Mr. Sissel has a real gift of helping others believe that they have the mental strength within themselves to get past whatever they might be struggling with. We were introduced to Mike through Gold Medal Gymnastics and seeing the impact he has made on the lives of so many including our daughter is astounding. He helped her to overcome the feelings of insecurity, feeling bullied and showed her how to focus and 'change her lens' so that she could perform successfully.”  
https://kaleidoeye.com/testimonials/fred-sanchez/
“Wow! What an amazing person! We are so fortunate to have Mike Sissel in our lives. Having two daughters that compete, I cannot thank him enough for all of valuable lessons learned. He empowers my girls with tools and strategies to become not only better athletes but better people. He helps them to build strong character traits that will benefit them long after their time in completion has come to an end. He's had a positive influence on the mindset of our entire family and for that we are truly blessed.”

Kim Roberts-Johson

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2017-09-14T15:05:04-07:00

Kim Roberts-Johson

“Wow! What an amazing person! We are so fortunate to have Mike Sissel in our lives. Having two daughters that compete, I cannot thank him enough for all of valuable lessons learned. He empowers my girls with tools and strategies to become not only better athletes but better people. He helps them to build strong character traits that will benefit them long after their time in completion has come to an end. He's had a positive influence on the mindset of our entire family and for that we are truly blessed.”
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“Mr. Sissel has been an incredible positive influence for my kids! Every time he goes to their school they look forward to learning something new from him! I have a teen and preteen and they have had him for the last several years and have quoted his lessons to us at home. Mr. Sissel has a special gift of teaching ALL ages with passion and dedication and truly knows how to connect with his audience, which makes it fun. I have also recommended him as one on one coaching for my dear friend’s son after she went through a divorce and her son was acting out and his insight truly helped her.”

Judy Salinas

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2017-09-14T14:39:25-07:00

Judy Salinas

“Mr. Sissel has been an incredible positive influence for my kids! Every time he goes to their school they look forward to learning something new from him! I have a teen and preteen and they have had him for the last several years and have quoted his lessons to us at home. Mr. Sissel has a special gift of teaching ALL ages with passion and dedication and truly knows how to connect with his audience, which makes it fun. I have also recommended him as one on one coaching for my dear friend’s son after she went through a divorce and her son was acting out and his insight truly helped her.”
https://kaleidoeye.com/testimonials/3596/
“Mr Sissel has been such an unbelievably positive presence both at Gold Medal Gymnastics and at our daughter's school, CEE. There is always enthusiasm and excitement when she knows that they will be having a session with him. The topics that he addresses are so important and he helps the kids see not only life's big picture, but also how individually they can make a real difference for themselves and those around them with their choices. We are thankful and look forward to more work with him in the future.”

 

Margo Ingram

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2017-09-14T15:04:38-07:00

Margo Ingram

“Mr Sissel has been such an unbelievably positive presence both at Gold Medal Gymnastics and at our daughter's school, CEE. There is always enthusiasm and excitement when she knows that they will be having a session with him. The topics that he addresses are so important and he helps the kids see not only life's big picture, but also how individually they can make a real difference for themselves and those around them with their choices. We are thankful and look forward to more work with him in the future.”  
https://kaleidoeye.com/testimonials/margo-ingram/
“Having been in the coaching profession for many years, I’ve gained the most satisfaction by having the opportunity to help shape the character of my players, ultimately preparing them for life beyond baseball. Mike Sissel is a masterful coach who shares a similar passion for the 'game of life'. His ability to connect with athletes is unmatched. If you have an opportunity for Mike to work with your team, it will truly be the 'gift' that will keep on giving. He has been a blessing to my family.”

Pat Murphy

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2018-05-23T09:46:00-07:00

Pat Murphy

“Having been in the coaching profession for many years, I’ve gained the most satisfaction by having the opportunity to help shape the character of my players, ultimately preparing them for life beyond baseball. Mike Sissel is a masterful coach who shares a similar passion for the 'game of life'. His ability to connect with athletes is unmatched. If you have an opportunity for Mike to work with your team, it will truly be the 'gift' that will keep on giving. He has been a blessing to my family.”
https://kaleidoeye.com/testimonials/pat-murphy/
“Mike has an amazing ability to reach our children and to challenge their thinking. His positive outlook and desire to help every child be the best they can be is inspiring. My daughter comes home from her time with him with a smile on her face and new words of wisdom to share with me.  My 13 year old son watches his motivational videos and every time turns to me and says "He is so right. Everything he is saying is so true".  So thankful to have him in my children's lives.”

 

Sally Moore

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2017-09-14T15:01:56-07:00

Sally Moore

“Mike has an amazing ability to reach our children and to challenge their thinking. His positive outlook and desire to help every child be the best they can be is inspiring. My daughter comes home from her time with him with a smile on her face and new words of wisdom to share with me.  My 13 year old son watches his motivational videos and every time turns to me and says "He is so right. Everything he is saying is so true".  So thankful to have him in my children's lives.”  
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"At Nike, I like to say ‘You Own Your Career’, Mike presented to my team and provided them with strategies & tools that inspired them to take ownership of their actions, performance, and careers. It was Motivational Coaching that impacted all attendees – regardless of their roles. All team members learned what behaviors make good leaders, and that all of us can be a leader. Mike was an energetic, passionate and effective presenter. I look forward to seeing my team practicing and implementing these skills into their Personal & Professional Developmental Plans.”

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2018-05-23T09:41:45-07:00

Jeff DuMont

"At Nike, I like to say ‘You Own Your Career’, Mike presented to my team and provided them with strategies & tools that inspired them to take ownership of their actions, performance, and careers. It was Motivational Coaching that impacted all attendees – regardless of their roles. All team members learned what behaviors make good leaders, and that all of us can be a leader. Mike was an energetic, passionate and effective presenter. I look forward to seeing my team practicing and implementing these skills into their Personal & Professional Developmental Plans.”
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