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What do “weeds” have to do with it?

November 4, 2014Mike SisselBlog1

untitledEven though it was ten years ago, I remember this event like it was yesterday.  Shortly after receiving the keys to my very first home, I walked around the exterior of the house, grinning from ear to ear, quietly celebrating perhaps my biggest adult milestone to date.  When I reached the back yard, however, my excitement quickly turned to dread.  The yard wasn’t really a yard, but rather a compilation of any type of weed you could possibly imagine.  Some were almost as tall as me.  So, rather than letting my dread get the best of me, I did what any first time homeowner would do.  I grabbed my trusty weed eater, which I had just purchased at the local Home Depot, and went to town.  In less than an hour, my backyard was completely transformed.  Or so it appeared.  

You see, the mistake I made is one that transcends weed eating.  In an effort to achieve instant gratification, I chose to treat the symptom (weeds) instead of addressing the cause (roots of the weeds).   What ensued were months and months of weed eating, only to see the same weeds appear in a matter of weeks. 

While treating the symptom is certainly a viable option, it’s not the most effective long-term strategy.  Below is a common situation where it’s easy to fall into a “symptoms based” approach, along with an alternative solution that is geared toward addressing the cause.

Situation: A child is misbehaving at home or in school.  

I’ll be the first to admit that it’s easy for parents and/or teachers to solve a behavior problem with a quick-fix approach, such as a timeout or a loss of privilege.  While these punitive measures will likely address the obvious symptom (child’s behavior), the underlying cause (reason for child’s behavior) is often overlooked because it’s much more difficult to discern.  The end result is that much like the weeds that continued to reappear in my backyard, the child’s behavior will most likely do the same.  

Alternative solution:  Empower the child by addressing the cause of the behavior.  

What we often fail to recognize as parents and teachers is that behaviors are influenced by thoughts and feelings.  Therefore, it’s important that we empower our children with emotional intelligence strategies, such as self-awareness and self-management.  Instead of simply telling a child that what he/she did was wrong, we can empower them to reflect on the thoughts and feelings that led to a specific behavior.  

Here is a simple emotional intelligence strategy I teach that I encourage you to share with your child.  It’s called MORE (Monitor Own Replace Empower) and it serves as a simple acronym to use in any situation.  Below is a brief video where I explain how to implement the strategy.  

Post by KaleidoEye.

Comments

cyndia Reply
December 7, 2014

I love the MORE technique!

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“Wow! What an amazing person! We are so fortunate to have Mike Sissel in our lives. Having two daughters that compete, I cannot thank him enough for all of valuable lessons learned. He empowers my girls with tools and strategies to become not only better athletes but better people. He helps them to build strong character traits that will benefit them long after their time in completion has come to an end. He's had a positive influence on the mindset of our entire family and for that we are truly blessed.”
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“Mr Sissel has been such an unbelievably positive presence both at Gold Medal Gymnastics and at our daughter's school, CEE. There is always enthusiasm and excitement when she knows that they will be having a session with him. The topics that he addresses are so important and he helps the kids see not only life's big picture, but also how individually they can make a real difference for themselves and those around them with their choices. We are thankful and look forward to more work with him in the future.”  
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“The power of positivity is infectious and Mr. Sissel has a real gift of helping others believe that they have the mental strength within themselves to get past whatever they might be struggling with. We were introduced to Mike through Gold Medal Gymnastics and seeing the impact he has made on the lives of so many including our daughter is astounding. He helped her to overcome the feelings of insecurity, feeling bullied and showed her how to focus and 'change her lens' so that she could perform successfully.”

 

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“The power of positivity is infectious and Mr. Sissel has a real gift of helping others believe that they have the mental strength within themselves to get past whatever they might be struggling with. We were introduced to Mike through Gold Medal Gymnastics and seeing the impact he has made on the lives of so many including our daughter is astounding. He helped her to overcome the feelings of insecurity, feeling bullied and showed her how to focus and 'change her lens' so that she could perform successfully.”  
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“Mike has an amazing ability to reach our children and to challenge their thinking. His positive outlook and desire to help every child be the best they can be is inspiring. My daughter comes home from her time with him with a smile on her face and new words of wisdom to share with me.  My 13 year old son watches his motivational videos and every time turns to me and says "He is so right. Everything he is saying is so true".  So thankful to have him in my children's lives.”  
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“Mr. Sissel has been an incredible positive influence for my kids! Every time he goes to their school they look forward to learning something new from him! I have a teen and preteen and they have had him for the last several years and have quoted his lessons to us at home. Mr. Sissel has a special gift of teaching ALL ages with passion and dedication and truly knows how to connect with his audience, which makes it fun. I have also recommended him as one on one coaching for my dear friend’s son after she went through a divorce and her son was acting out and his insight truly helped her.”

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“Mr. Sissel has been an incredible positive influence for my kids! Every time he goes to their school they look forward to learning something new from him! I have a teen and preteen and they have had him for the last several years and have quoted his lessons to us at home. Mr. Sissel has a special gift of teaching ALL ages with passion and dedication and truly knows how to connect with his audience, which makes it fun. I have also recommended him as one on one coaching for my dear friend’s son after she went through a divorce and her son was acting out and his insight truly helped her.”
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"At Nike, I like to say ‘You Own Your Career’, Mike presented to my team and provided them with strategies & tools that inspired them to take ownership of their actions, performance, and careers. It was Motivational Coaching that impacted all attendees – regardless of their roles. All team members learned what behaviors make good leaders, and that all of us can be a leader. Mike was an energetic, passionate and effective presenter. I look forward to seeing my team practicing and implementing these skills into their Personal & Professional Developmental Plans.”
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“Mike Sissel is an amazing man. With a positive force driving his ultimate vision to help the world be a better place, he reminds young and old what it means to be and do good by finding it in within. His practical steps are accessible to children and admired by adults. Whether he facilitates a retreat, in-service, assembly, or consults, positive and tangible results will be the outcome. I highly recommend him!”

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Greg Hebert

“Mike Sissel is an amazing man. With a positive force driving his ultimate vision to help the world be a better place, he reminds young and old what it means to be and do good by finding it in within. His practical steps are accessible to children and admired by adults. Whether he facilitates a retreat, in-service, assembly, or consults, positive and tangible results will be the outcome. I highly recommend him!”
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