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Who you are is more important than what you do

September 13, 2016Mike SisselBlog

imagese3x0297gTwo weeks ago, I had the great fortune of providing emotional intelligence training for a group of volunteers with Experience Corps, a nonprofit organization that engages adults 50 and older as literacy tutors for struggling students in public schools.  Click here to learn more about this wonderful organization.   

I began my discussion with a question I invite all of you to consider.

In your interactions with young people, what is the most important thing you bring with you? 

If you’re a tutor, a logical answer might be, “I bring my tutoring materials (i.e. books, workbooks, etc…).

If you’re a teacher, a logical answer might be, “I bring my lesson plans for the day.”

If you’re a coach, a logical answer might be, “I bring my list of core skills that I need to teach my athletes.”

While each of the above answers are certainly reasonable, I would argue that the single most important thing that a tutor, mentor, teacher, or coach brings to the proverbial table is their energy.  In other words, it’s not what you bring, but rather an awareness of who you’re being.

Ralph Waldo Emerson captured this notion perfectly when he said, “Who you are speaks so loudly I can’t hear what you’re saying.”   

Below are four powerful examples of who you can be in your interactions with young people.

You can be an example who models the behavior you expect to see in others.

As you know, kids are very adept at recognizing our every move.  While they may not acknowledge moments where they witness a disconnect between what we’re saying and what we’re doing, they will almost certainly begin to formulate various beliefs, such as, “If they don’t do it, why should I?”

Am I inferring that we must be perfect?  Absolutely not.  However, if we can begin to own the fact that everything we do or say creates an invisible ripple for the people in our midst, we may just pay more attention to who we’re being.

You can be an empathic listener who seeks to understand the social and emotional needs of the young person you’re working with.

I’ve heard it said that the deepest need of the human heart is to be understood.  I couldn’t agree more.  Unfortunately, as adults we often feel the need to advise or correct, in an effort to fix certain behaviors.  Meanwhile, what the child wants most is to know that we understand their current emotional state.  The moment we begin to give advice, despite the fact that our intentions are well meaning, the child will often say to himself, “They just don’t understand me.” 

So, rather than putting on our problem solving cap each time there is conflict, I invite you to just sit back and listen.  As they speak, I encourage you to validate them by simply saying, “I can understand that.”

You can approach each interaction with a servant’s heart, all the while recognizing the enormity of your gifts. 

Every interaction we have with a child is an opportunity to share our gifts.  What are my gifts, you might ask?  How about starting with the gift of your energy.  Simply showing up with a smile on your face is a gift that may seem inconsequential, but it’s not.  We’ve all experienced moments when someone else’s smile changed the trajectory of our day.  Another often overlooked gift is the gift of gratitude.  When you express gratitude for young people, you are not only filling their emotional bucket, but more importantly you are giving them permission to do the same for others.  When people do or say kind things, we naturally want to pay it forward. 

Remember, who you are in your interactions with youth is more important than what you teach them. 

As the great Maya Angelou once said, “They may forget what you said, but they will never forget how you made them feel.”

I believe in you!

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“Mr Sissel has been such an unbelievably positive presence both at Gold Medal Gymnastics and at our daughter's school, CEE. There is always enthusiasm and excitement when she knows that they will be having a session with him. The topics that he addresses are so important and he helps the kids see not only life's big picture, but also how individually they can make a real difference for themselves and those around them with their choices. We are thankful and look forward to more work with him in the future.”

 

Margo Ingram

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2017-09-14T15:04:38-07:00

Margo Ingram

“Mr Sissel has been such an unbelievably positive presence both at Gold Medal Gymnastics and at our daughter's school, CEE. There is always enthusiasm and excitement when she knows that they will be having a session with him. The topics that he addresses are so important and he helps the kids see not only life's big picture, but also how individually they can make a real difference for themselves and those around them with their choices. We are thankful and look forward to more work with him in the future.”  
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“Having been in the coaching profession for many years, I’ve gained the most satisfaction by having the opportunity to help shape the character of my players, ultimately preparing them for life beyond baseball. Mike Sissel is a masterful coach who shares a similar passion for the 'game of life'. His ability to connect with athletes is unmatched. If you have an opportunity for Mike to work with your team, it will truly be the 'gift' that will keep on giving. He has been a blessing to my family.”

Pat Murphy

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2018-05-23T09:46:00-07:00

Pat Murphy

“Having been in the coaching profession for many years, I’ve gained the most satisfaction by having the opportunity to help shape the character of my players, ultimately preparing them for life beyond baseball. Mike Sissel is a masterful coach who shares a similar passion for the 'game of life'. His ability to connect with athletes is unmatched. If you have an opportunity for Mike to work with your team, it will truly be the 'gift' that will keep on giving. He has been a blessing to my family.”
https://kaleidoeye.com/testimonials/pat-murphy/
“Mike Sissel is an amazing man. With a positive force driving his ultimate vision to help the world be a better place, he reminds young and old what it means to be and do good by finding it in within. His practical steps are accessible to children and admired by adults. Whether he facilitates a retreat, in-service, assembly, or consults, positive and tangible results will be the outcome. I highly recommend him!”

Greg Hebert

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2018-05-23T09:48:39-07:00

Greg Hebert

“Mike Sissel is an amazing man. With a positive force driving his ultimate vision to help the world be a better place, he reminds young and old what it means to be and do good by finding it in within. His practical steps are accessible to children and admired by adults. Whether he facilitates a retreat, in-service, assembly, or consults, positive and tangible results will be the outcome. I highly recommend him!”
https://kaleidoeye.com/testimonials/greg-hebert/
“The power of positivity is infectious and Mr. Sissel has a real gift of helping others believe that they have the mental strength within themselves to get past whatever they might be struggling with. We were introduced to Mike through Gold Medal Gymnastics and seeing the impact he has made on the lives of so many including our daughter is astounding. He helped her to overcome the feelings of insecurity, feeling bullied and showed her how to focus and 'change her lens' so that she could perform successfully.”

 

Fred Sanchez

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2017-09-14T15:02:28-07:00

Fred Sanchez

“The power of positivity is infectious and Mr. Sissel has a real gift of helping others believe that they have the mental strength within themselves to get past whatever they might be struggling with. We were introduced to Mike through Gold Medal Gymnastics and seeing the impact he has made on the lives of so many including our daughter is astounding. He helped her to overcome the feelings of insecurity, feeling bullied and showed her how to focus and 'change her lens' so that she could perform successfully.”  
https://kaleidoeye.com/testimonials/fred-sanchez/
“Wow! What an amazing person! We are so fortunate to have Mike Sissel in our lives. Having two daughters that compete, I cannot thank him enough for all of valuable lessons learned. He empowers my girls with tools and strategies to become not only better athletes but better people. He helps them to build strong character traits that will benefit them long after their time in completion has come to an end. He's had a positive influence on the mindset of our entire family and for that we are truly blessed.”

Kim Roberts-Johson

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2017-09-14T15:05:04-07:00

Kim Roberts-Johson

“Wow! What an amazing person! We are so fortunate to have Mike Sissel in our lives. Having two daughters that compete, I cannot thank him enough for all of valuable lessons learned. He empowers my girls with tools and strategies to become not only better athletes but better people. He helps them to build strong character traits that will benefit them long after their time in completion has come to an end. He's had a positive influence on the mindset of our entire family and for that we are truly blessed.”
https://kaleidoeye.com/testimonials/kim-roberts-johson/
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Christie Winkelmann

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2018-05-23T09:49:19-07:00

Christie Winkelmann

“Our school mission has always been to educate the 'whole child', including their social and emotional development. Mike’s contribution to this mission, through the delivery of his meaningful, engaging lessons, has made a lasting impact on our school culture. In addition to the rich content he shares with our students, the energy he brings to each classroom is contagious. He has been an inspiration to our staff and students and truly lives the leadership principles he teaches.”
https://kaleidoeye.com/testimonials/christie-winkelmann/
"At Nike, I like to say ‘You Own Your Career’, Mike presented to my team and provided them with strategies & tools that inspired them to take ownership of their actions, performance, and careers. It was Motivational Coaching that impacted all attendees – regardless of their roles. All team members learned what behaviors make good leaders, and that all of us can be a leader. Mike was an energetic, passionate and effective presenter. I look forward to seeing my team practicing and implementing these skills into their Personal & Professional Developmental Plans.”

Jeff DuMont

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Jeff DuMont

"At Nike, I like to say ‘You Own Your Career’, Mike presented to my team and provided them with strategies & tools that inspired them to take ownership of their actions, performance, and careers. It was Motivational Coaching that impacted all attendees – regardless of their roles. All team members learned what behaviors make good leaders, and that all of us can be a leader. Mike was an energetic, passionate and effective presenter. I look forward to seeing my team practicing and implementing these skills into their Personal & Professional Developmental Plans.”
https://kaleidoeye.com/testimonials/jeff-dumont/
“Mr. Sissel has been an incredible positive influence for my kids! Every time he goes to their school they look forward to learning something new from him! I have a teen and preteen and they have had him for the last several years and have quoted his lessons to us at home. Mr. Sissel has a special gift of teaching ALL ages with passion and dedication and truly knows how to connect with his audience, which makes it fun. I have also recommended him as one on one coaching for my dear friend’s son after she went through a divorce and her son was acting out and his insight truly helped her.”

Judy Salinas

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2017-09-14T14:39:25-07:00

Judy Salinas

“Mr. Sissel has been an incredible positive influence for my kids! Every time he goes to their school they look forward to learning something new from him! I have a teen and preteen and they have had him for the last several years and have quoted his lessons to us at home. Mr. Sissel has a special gift of teaching ALL ages with passion and dedication and truly knows how to connect with his audience, which makes it fun. I have also recommended him as one on one coaching for my dear friend’s son after she went through a divorce and her son was acting out and his insight truly helped her.”
https://kaleidoeye.com/testimonials/3596/
“Mike has an amazing ability to reach our children and to challenge their thinking. His positive outlook and desire to help every child be the best they can be is inspiring. My daughter comes home from her time with him with a smile on her face and new words of wisdom to share with me.  My 13 year old son watches his motivational videos and every time turns to me and says "He is so right. Everything he is saying is so true".  So thankful to have him in my children's lives.”

 

Sally Moore

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2017-09-14T15:01:56-07:00

Sally Moore

“Mike has an amazing ability to reach our children and to challenge their thinking. His positive outlook and desire to help every child be the best they can be is inspiring. My daughter comes home from her time with him with a smile on her face and new words of wisdom to share with me.  My 13 year old son watches his motivational videos and every time turns to me and says "He is so right. Everything he is saying is so true".  So thankful to have him in my children's lives.”  
https://kaleidoeye.com/testimonials/sally-moore/
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